Lighten Up!

[gofaster]

Originally posted by Eagler
Why Dogs are better than Wives

19. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died would you get another dog?"

I just about fell out of my chair with that one!

My wife actually did that, but it wasn't at night - it was during a long car ride when I was about to doze off.  My answer?  "I sure would. And if I died I'd want you to marry again too, because Life is to short to spend it in loneliness."  I scored some big-time Husband Points with that one.

[gofaster]

Originally posted by AKDejaVu
Why women are better than dogs:

1. Sex

The rules of the game change when the ring goes on the finger.  Before marriage, sex was a recreational sport to be enjoyed any time, at leisure.  After marriage, you're doing it for a reason, and that kind of takes the fun out of it.  "No, not tonight; I won't peak until Monday." Argh!

[AKDejaVu]

Wait until she's 35.  It'll change... with a vengeance.

[Eagler]

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought
 a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer
 agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

 The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry
 son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."

 Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money
 back."

 The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent
 it already."

 Kenny said, "OK then, at least give me the donkey."

 The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

 Kenny, "I'm going to raffle him off."

 Farmer, " You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

 Kenny, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell
 anybody he is dead."

 A month later, the farmer met up with Kenny and
 asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?

 Kenny,  "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at
 two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898."

 Farmer, "Didn't anyone complain?"

 Kenny, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two
 dollars back."

 Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of
 Enron.