I just got an e-mail from Superfly and I feel it's my duty to pass it on to all of you...
Dear Elfenwolf,
I am writing this email to you to relate just how badly the day went for all of us at Hi-Tech Creations on Friday and to offer a partial excuse for the subsequent banishment of Sandman and Hortlund.
Hi-Tech had trouble getting to work when one of his sedan chair bearers twisted an ankle and had to be replaced with Nate Dog. The problem with that is that Nate Dog is a midget and could barely reach the pole supporting Hi Tech's sedan chair, much less offer any help in carrying him. As a result Hi Tech fell out of the chair and scraped his nose on the asphalt. Needless to say he tried to beat Nate Dog with his septer, but Nate Dog has been here a long long time and he's pretty good at dodging blows and thrown objects in spite of the long flowing Monk robe Hi Tech makes him wear.
So they show up an hour late and Hi Tech is pissed off because his manicurist got tired of waiting and left so he comes in without speaking to any of us and goes directly to his private office, slamming the door behind him. We had no sooner given a collective sigh of relief that he would sit in his office and surf porn sites all day instead of making our lives hell when his door bursts open and he's screaming at Yankee because he found a green M&M in his bowl. See, Hi Tech HATES green M&Ms and it's Yankee's job to take all the green M&M's out of his bowl every morning.
We all knew what's going to happen next- Yankee is going to get a spanking. We all averted our eyes as Hi Tech stands ranting at Yankee- well, all except Nate Dog, who hopped off his chair and crawled under his desk- but like I said, Nate Dog is pretty smart for a midget and he knew Hi Tech would throw the bowl of M&M's at us. And throw it he did, and those M&M's felt like buckshot he threw them so hard.
So he ordered Nate Dog to fetch his riding crop, bade Yankee bend over his lap as we all stood in a semi circle as forced witnesses to poor Yankee's public humiliation as he administered a dozen or so whacks across her butt with the riding crop. Then he demanded another bowl of M&M's and disapeared back into his office behind a slamming door.
No matter how many times Hi Tech spanks Yankee or makes Nate Dog do that stupid little dance like a chicken he finds so uprouriously funny when he's been drinking there's always an embarassed silence afterwards among the employees. We averted our eyes from Yankee, whose tears of humiliation and angry sobs through clinched teeth were audible throughout the room as she seperated the green M&M's from several fresh bags.
That was when we got the phone call from Creamo complaining about pornography on the bbs. Yankee took the call, became enraged and asked all to refrain from any further such posts. While Yankee was firing off her warning Hi Tech came out of his office in search of his new bowl of M&M's, saw that Yankee was busy addressing the O'Club issues of pornography and hadn't finished sorting the M&M's and HE freaked out, banned Hortlund and Sandman for talking back and spanked Yankee again for taking so long on the M&M's.
Elfenwolf, I'm writing this to you because you are the brightest of the O'Club posters and everybody respects and admires your opinion. Please tell your fellow posters not to hate Yankee because she's just trying to do her job without getting spanked. And don't blame Dale either. He's lived the rock star life for so long now that he actually believes he is ordained by God. Thank you for allowing me to explain.
Your pal,
Superfly
