Author Topic: Cuzzing out the poolice (Read 259 times)

rogwar · « **on:** August 27, 2002, 09:51:01 AM »

Edited for television...

So I went to the liquor store the other day to buy some Night Train, I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a galdarn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.

So I went up to him and said, 'Come on buddy, how about giving a guy a break?'

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil necked nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having bald tyres!!

So I called him a piece of horse hockey. He finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!!

This went on for about 10 minutes, the more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

I didn't give a roody doody...my car was parked around the corner...

Ripsnort · « **Reply #1 on:** August 27, 2002, 09:53:43 AM »

LOL! Oldie but goodie.

AKSWulfe · « **Reply #2 on:** August 27, 2002, 09:55:42 AM »

"galdarn"

"tyres"

Is that British redneck speak... or a confused southerner?
-SW

lord dolf vader · « **Reply #3 on:** August 27, 2002, 11:21:31 AM »

its texan, dingdangit

rogwar · « **Reply #4 on:** August 27, 2002, 11:56:13 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by AKSWulfe
"galdarn"

"tyres"

Is that British redneck speak... or a confused southerner?
-SW

Confused? Moi? Confusion say if you go to bed with woman in mind you wake up with problem in hand.

Galdarn was my addition for the PG version. The tyres just copied over from the email that was sent to me. I added the part about Night Train Express to add a slight zestiness to such muze.

Confused? Probably a little. I just got back from Rio yesterday morning and am waking up with withdrawl syptoms. Although I am not prepared yet to take the solution in hand. This was my 20th trip to Rio and it never has gotten boring, only better.

Side note: yeah I talk about Rio but I don't include the days of work in other cities visiting the mines and cement plants in remote areas. Long drives. Hard days. Anti-malarial meds. Threat of Dengue (second time...possible hemoragic dengue). Beautiful country though with nice, friendly people.

Rip...amazingly I never heard the joke before...sort of versions of it...but this one not yet. I knew it had to be an old one though.

capt. apathy · « **Reply #5 on:** August 27, 2002, 09:22:43 PM »

I like the story of the cop who waited outside the local bar 'till closing time.
the first guy out the door was obviously hammered. he dropped his car keys 4 or 5 times. tried to open the wrong car twice. most of the other patrons left while the cop watched him hit the starter 3 times after the engine was running. it took him 4 or 5 try's to get the car out of the space, by then the rest of the customers had left.

so he pulls out on the street and gets maybe 20' before the red & blues light up behind him.

so the cop gives him the sobriety test, which he passes easly. the cop just laughs and says "let's see you pass this one" and gives him the breathalizer. the guy blows 0.00 , the cop can't belive it and says "I can't believe this damded things broken"

the guys says "It's not broken I'm the designated decoy"