Author Topic: hey Udie (Read 743 times)

Wlfgng · « **on:** August 27, 2002, 02:19:21 PM »

did you ever get that stuff straightened out?

some more info avail if you want.

wlf

Udie · « **Reply #1 on:** August 29, 2002, 08:32:42 PM »

Well I'm a hell of a lot better than I was last week, or in reality the past 15 years. Had some thoughts last friday coming home for lunch from work and decided I couldn't do it (life) anymore. Luckily I was smart enough to call my roommates girlfriend (she's been helping me cope w/ my depression for the past 2 months) and asked her to come home with him for lunch.

I was in pretty bad shape at the time, actually the worst I've ever felt. When they got there all I could do was lay on the couch with a pillow over my head and cry. My roommate said "well you're either getting up and going back to work (I was over an hour late already) or I'm taking you to the hospital. I told him I could NOT go back to work. So he took me to the hospital and I admitted myself. That was the single most dificult thing I have ever done.

I'm not going to go into any details about what happened in the 6.5 days I was there, that's too personal for me to discuss here. But here it is the Thursday after I checked myself in and I am feeling GREAT. They haven't quite got the medication ballancing act worked out just yet but I'm only having "manic" phases now. That is MUCH better than the depression phases. The only times I have had manic attacks in the past 5 years or so has been at the WB and AH conventions.

My finances are REALY screwed up right now to the tune of about 10 grand, so it may be a while before you see me flying the skies of AH again

If anybody knows where a guy that makes 35-40k a year that has no bank account can get a 10,000 loan with $500/month payments let me know

Thanks for the concern Wlfgng, just know that I'm out of that deep dark place and on my way back to the top of my game. It's just going to take me a while because I let myself linger there too long. And thank God that I'm no longer feeling that way.

One other bit of bad news is no more alcohol, ever. That's not too bad for me because the only time I ever really drank over the past 10 years has been at the conventions.

Elfenwolf · « **Reply #2 on:** August 29, 2002, 08:42:24 PM »

It takes courage to display your soul. <~~> Udie, you're a brave man and may God bless you with a speedy recovery.~~

Animal · « **Reply #3 on:** August 29, 2002, 08:45:07 PM »

What really happened at the hospital.

"I'm cured!"

Wlfgng · « **Reply #4 on:** August 29, 2002, 09:50:35 PM »

Udie, that's the toughest thing in the world to do.

Congrats bro and heads up !

Drop me a line when you get some time at:
nick-tucker@attbi.com

Wlfgng · « **Reply #5 on:** August 29, 2002, 09:51:19 PM »

Animal, no that's me trying to stay awake and play AH.

Udie · « **Reply #6 on:** August 29, 2002, 10:28:56 PM »

Well in all actuallity I thought I was walking into one flew over the kookoo's nest. But it was nothing like that at least in my ward anyway.

There were some very messed up people in my ward though that I thought shouldn't have been with us "minor cases". One girl had at least 10 people living in her head and 1/2 of them hate the other half and all of them but one hated her "real" personality" It was a very sad thiing to see, she'll probably never be cured. Sometimes she would literaly be switching between them ever 5 to 10 seconds. Saw somebody who had 2 elctro shock therapy treatments. And unlike the movies they knock you out for that toejam. AND it works. He was noticebly better after each treatment poor guy has 8 more to go though. I asked him if it hurt and he said the sensation was like a memory from his child hood, he knew what he had been through only he thought it was years ago instead of hours. Strange stuff

Animal this isn't pointed at you, but guys please refrain from joking about these people I have mentioned. It was VERY sad to see humans with such mental problems and helped me realise that I don't have as bad a sickness as these people do. Mine is now controlled with 1 drug taken twice a day and so far has worked perfectly. Mental science has come a LONG way since A clockwork orange or one flew over the kookoo's nest.

Thanks for all the well wishes guys but there are plenty of people out there that deserve them more than me....

Animal · « **Reply #7 on:** August 29, 2002, 10:34:42 PM »

Nah, I'm not joking them nor plan to. My joke was directed at YOU ya turd fondler

glad you are getting better
I too have dealt with people with these diseases and you'd have to be even in worse mental shape to make fun of that

As for shock therapy: the problem with it before was that they didnt knock you off before it, so the therapy may have cured depression but it added sever traumas to the patients, so it was really fighting fire with fire.
I'm aware it has come long ways now.

Personally if I were to ever fall into very severe depression (knocks wooden desk) I would prefer modern shock therapy to drugs. As I told in the email, some psychiatrists are very trigger happy when it comes to medicatings.

What works for me best is exersice, good nutrition, and an outlet (artistic or athletic)

Udie have you considered martial arts before?

Regular · « **Reply #8 on:** August 30, 2002, 02:24:07 AM »

Wow! This guy needs to be locked up for ten years like the kid who stoled his dads beers or something like that!

Curval · « **Reply #9 on:** August 30, 2002, 07:48:17 AM »

Regular..if you are referring to Udie in your post please do us all a favour and STFU.

Udie...glad to hear you have gotten things sorted out. Call me if you need anything....collect.

midnight Target · « **Reply #10 on:** August 30, 2002, 08:19:31 AM »

Udie,

If you still got my number feel free to call. We're all rooting for ya bud.

Bob

lord dolf vader · « **Reply #11 on:** August 30, 2002, 08:34:49 AM »

udie i know your pain . my grandmother ( who adopted me as my mother) was a manic depresive her whole life . the cycles times were totaly unpredictable and we could never determine what set off the bad times. she was on lithium for years but hated the "haze" it put her in . it got out of controll three times in her life and she had to be commited the first two times i was to young to remember. the last one was after the gulf war when i wasent to together myself i came to visit and she had been comatose for at least two days. the hospital was a nightmare people who were truly ill/delusional. i would have rather died than comit her like that but it had to be done as she was suicidal. long story short . we got her medication changed and the last 6 or 7 years of her life were much better . almost like she wasent ill at all. still had bad times but one tenth what they had been .

p.s. this was the greatest most kind and decent individual i have ever known. without her care and love i wouldent be here.

work with the new meds with a little luck this is controlable and a normal life is possible

towd

p.s.s. there is nothing funny at all about any of this may you jokesters never have to live thru this .

Wlfgng · « **Reply #12 on:** August 30, 2002, 09:09:52 AM »

Udie.. I know you're just making us all soft and gooshey so you can come back and kick our complacent arses..

Dnil · « **Reply #13 on:** August 30, 2002, 09:10:01 AM »

whatever happens bro, ya got my number. I have been on most meds for this kind of stuff.

p.s. no matter what happens don't let them put you on paxil. That toejam is like heroin. I am having all kinds of problems on that stuff.

Udie · « **Reply #14 on:** August 30, 2002, 03:17:08 PM »

well they've got me on depekote for mood stabilization and reprutin or something for anxiety.

Been having problems getting to sleep, took about 3 hours last night. I can tell when they ware off too. It's wierd, I either go manic or depressed and pretty hard and fast too. But after I take the recomended dosage I'm back to normal in about 30 - 45 min.

The strangest part has been the temporal (sp? ya know that time thing) distortion. Yesterday evening I called my dad in Houston to tell him I was home ok. I dialed a number that was his about 6 years ago!! Got about 1/2 way through before I realized what I was doing. Short term memory sux now too. I'm finding it REAL hard to remember names too. Typing requires a lot of backspacing now too. Today I've been dizzy all day long.

But I'm out of that deep dark pit so I'm happy so far. Did I mention the girl I met in there? A real hotty! bi-polar like me

we talked like all week probably about 30+ hours getting to know each other. She drove her self there so we arranged to get released at the same time "so my roommate wouldn't have to miss any work"

She was the last thing I expected, though there is a rather large age diference. She's pretty young, but has a good head on her shoulders. Of course our feelings could just be that place, but she stayed at the house for a couple of hours last night and we've talked a lot since we got out. I know she did wonders for my self esteem and self confidence!!!

back to work....

again dudes thanks for all the well wishes!

ps. Eagler you'll love this one

The doc convinced me to stop smoking pot for a few months to get the meds worked out right so I've quit FOR NOW cool part is that I haven't had ANY urge to smoke it since I got out. I even have a bit from b4 I went in and didn't touch it last night. Trying to do the smart thing here!