Dunno if the title is true or not ...
found this:
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems 'submitted'
by QUANTAS pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance
engineers.QUANTAS is apparently the only airline that has never had an
accident!
P - problem logged by pilot. S - The solution and action taken by the
engineers.
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: No.2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No.2 propeller seepage normal. No's. 1,3 and 4 propellers lack normal
seepage.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mod produces 200 fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: No.3 engine missing.
S: No.3 engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircravt handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
SKurj
