Dear Santa,
You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the twenty six of December .... well, I would very much like to clear up certain thing that have occurred since the beginning of the month. Filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a couple sticks of PC 133 RAM, a new mouse, a new mouse pad, headphones and a 80 mm fan.
I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I first in my
class, but I had the best grades in the school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me with my parents, my brothers, and my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There is virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity .... what balls do you have leaving me a diddlying yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks !!! What the diddly were you thinking, you fat son of a squeak, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole year to come out with some toejam like this under the tree. As if you hadn't diddlyed me enough, you gave that little homo across the street a Sony 24" Flat Screen Monitor, a 400 Watt 5.1 speaker system, the new TM Couger Flight Control System, a new Falcon NW Mark V Computer and so many toys that he can't even walk into his house!!!
Please don't let me see you trying fit your big fat bellybutton down my chimney
next year! I'll diddly you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back home, since you
didn't even get me one lousy diddlying stick of RAM. diddly you Santa. Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you fat diddlying bastard.
Sincerely,
Sprint
