Author Topic: Motorway ticket price  (Read 234 times)

Offline Saintaw

  • Platinum Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6692
      • My blog
Motorway ticket price
« on: October 09, 2002, 04:20:55 AM »
While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over) I
noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?"
 
I replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do
you do?" I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher."
 
The cop said "What? ... a rectum stretcher?, and what does a rectum stretcher do?"
 
I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."
 
The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot amazinhunk?"
I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a
bridge..."
 
The ticket - - $95.00
 
The look on his face - - PRICELESS
Saw
Dirty, nasty furriner.

Offline Ripsnort

  • Radioactive Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 27260
Motorway ticket price
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2002, 07:31:38 AM »
Rectum?!  Hell, damn near killed him!

Offline Maniac

  • Gold Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3817
Motorway ticket price
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2002, 08:21:08 AM »
ROFLMAD!
Warbirds handle : nr-1 //// -nr-1- //// Maniac

Offline Vulcan

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9913
Motorway ticket price
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2002, 02:52:18 PM »
You wanna see the look on a cops face when he lazers ya doing 140km/h in a 100 zone and can't get a reading :D  

Offline john9001

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9453
Motorway ticket price
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2002, 03:36:29 PM »
vulcan , ever hear of "reckless driving" and "too fast for conditions"... in court it's your word against the cops.

Offline Vulcan

  • Plutonium Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 9913
Motorway ticket price
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2002, 06:18:42 PM »
Yeah did get a little lead footed there - it was very quiet, no traffic round just me on the motorway. He did pull out and follow me for some time absolutely hammering me with his radar (but I had already slowed).  How ever how would a cop do in court with just his 'word' when he has a vehicle packed with the latest speed detection equipment?

The main reason for the jammer is they have gone in $$$$ mode over here. There is a 10km/h tolerance soon to go to a 5km/h tolerance. IE if you are caught doing more than 5 km/h they HAVE to issue you a ticket.

I've also been wrongfully ticketed. The guy lasered me at maximum distance, with truck traffic passing in front of his gun, and from what I figure picked up the vehicle coming up behind me. His words "I saw no other traffic on the road" - thats right, he 'didn't see' the trucks, or the other cars :(  . That was the day I ordered the jammer :D

My boss has also had an interesting one. He got lasered doing 120 in a 100 area. Saw the cop pull out figured Oh well, pulled into the left lane ready to stop. The cop whizzes by. A few km's up the road he sees the cop on the side with a vehicle the same model and colour as his.

Offline texace

  • Silver Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1031
      • http://www.usmc.mil
Motorway ticket price
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2002, 11:12:13 PM »
I do know that in America...if you get busted in a radar trap nad you KNOW it was you he got, pull over immediatly. If you do this, the cop cannot cross the highway or road to give you a ticket, as it creates a hazard.

A friend of mine did this and said the cop gave him the finger going the OPPOSITE way on the freeway.