Author Topic: The Chicken  (Read 512 times)

Offline -ammo-

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The Chicken
« on: October 16, 2002, 09:50:54 AM »
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

GEORGE W. BUSH - I don't think I should have to answer that question.

AL GORE - I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the
chicken crossing the road represents the application of these two
different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater
services to the American people.

RUSH LIMBAUGH - I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll
bet
it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can
real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax
dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money
the
government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART - No one called to warn me which way that chicken was
going.
I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the
price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.

JERRY FALWELL - Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to
the "other side. That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my
friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the
liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other
side."

DR. SEUSS - Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been
told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY - To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. - I envision a world where all chickens will be
free
to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA - In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
us.

BARBARA WALTERS - Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
story
of how it had a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON - Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE -It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX  - It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN - This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE - I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend
to
the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN - What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK - To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER - You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more
chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD - The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES - I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your
checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN - Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road
move
beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON - I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean
by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

THE BIBLE - And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road,
and
there was much rejoicing.

RALPH NADER - The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not
reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed
by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN - To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

COLONEL SANDERS - I missed one?
Commanding Officer, 56 Fighter Group
Retired USAF - 1988 - 2011

Offline Kanth

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The Chicken
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2002, 10:09:25 AM »
hehehehe


Quote

ERNEST HEMINGWAY - To die. In the rain. Alone.
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Offline john9001

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The Chicken
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2002, 10:23:56 AM »
hahaha ...way too funny ...where did you find that ?

44MAG
:D

Offline StSanta

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The Chicken
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2002, 10:28:18 AM »
LOL ammo, those are great dude :D

Offline Ripsnort

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The Chicken
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2002, 10:30:26 AM »
Quote
The Wife Pumpkin:

A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a  
terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

       He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she  
was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need of his  
good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he  
went.

       The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without  
pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party.

       In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she  
thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he  
acted when she was not with him.

       She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around  
on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could and copping a  
little feel here and a little kiss there.

       His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself,  
he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff  
that had just arrived.

       She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her  
husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she  
agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang.

       Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home  
and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of  
explanation he would make for his behavior.

       She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a  
time he had. He said, "Oh the same old thing. You know I never have a good  
time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

       He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I  
got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the  
den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... The guy I loaned my  
costume to sure had a real good time!

Offline midnight Target

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The HT BBS Version:
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2002, 11:20:16 AM »
Feel free to add more -

sandman - Because thats where my chickenfeed lure was placed expertly and subtly.

Eagler - Obviously a left wing chicken that has seen the error of its ways and is moving over to the RIGHT side of the street.

Tahgut - The chicken was probably not being treated fairly by the majority of the other chickens and deserves his own side of the road.

Hangtime - Fek the chicken. Let me know when the wings are done!

easymo - That chicken is just another illegal trying to take advantage of our country's opportunities.

Ripsnort - Hey! That chicken has my legs!!

Thrawn - The chicken was sick of the corporal punishment on the wrong side of the road, so he was heading north.

HT - wat chikin due ewe meen?

GRUNHERZ - Dam lefty liberal chicken can just get the hell out of here as far as I care! Typical lib reaction to move to the side of the road that I'm not on! Commie bastard Chicken!

Miko - The chicken obviously felt that the impending xenocide was forthcoming and having an inate intelligence that falls somewhere below mine yet above the curve of the average chicken decided to move to the other side where life may or may not be better.

hblair - Thet thar chikun just makin the shot from my porch couch a little tuffer wunce he crosses thet thar road.

SOB - Must be porn on the other side.

Rude - Quit whining about the chicken! He can be on whatever side of the road he wants. Its his 50 cents a day isn't it?

Please add more................

Offline SirLoin

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Re: The HT BBS Version:
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2002, 11:36:36 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
Feel free to add more -

Ripsnort - Hey! That chicken has my legs!!



Lol!..:D
**JOKER'S JOKERS**

Offline Thrawn

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The Chicken
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2002, 11:42:19 AM »
Udie: The chicken was looking for his meds, because his ex turned into a hottie.

Offline Kanth

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Re: The HT BBS Version:
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2002, 11:43:48 AM »
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!

omg painful kinda laughter LOL!!!!

best post I've seen today. :D

Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
Feel free to add more -
Please add more................
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Offline Nash

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The Chicken
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2002, 11:46:22 AM »
Lol target those are great! :)

I'll add one:

hardcase - "duh, to buy more ram".

Offline SirLoin

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The Chicken
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2002, 11:49:00 AM »
HiTech-"Cause I was chasing him."
**JOKER'S JOKERS**

Offline Nash

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The Chicken
« Reply #11 on: October 16, 2002, 11:52:28 AM »
Another:

Toad:

"Why did the chicken cross the road? That's easy, and you'll find the answer here:

http://www.univox.com/writer/chicken.html

here:
http://www.whydidthechickencrosstheroad.com

here:
http://www.whydidthechickencrosstheroad.com

here:
http://www.fusionanomaly.net/whydidthechickencrosstheroad.html

and here:
http://www.cgl.uwaterloo.ca/~smann/Humor/chicken.html

Not that I agree with them. Not that I disagree with them either. It's damned if the chicken crosses the road, and damned if it doesn't."

:D
« Last Edit: October 16, 2002, 12:01:46 PM by Nash »

Offline Thrawn

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The Chicken
« Reply #12 on: October 16, 2002, 11:56:22 AM »
Wilbus: Because the TA-152 was porked.

Offline vorticon

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The Chicken
« Reply #13 on: October 16, 2002, 11:58:44 AM »
vorticon: the chicken can do what it wants i dont care as long as its not trafficing drugs over that road and will eventually come and be eaten by me im okay with it


homer simpson: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm chicken
« Last Edit: October 16, 2002, 01:01:16 PM by vorticon »

Offline loser

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The Chicken
« Reply #14 on: October 16, 2002, 12:37:23 PM »
truker:   to get to the other side >>>>>>