Sent to me by a remarkable woman, my mother-in-law...
"I am sorry to have to report the home going of Common Sense.
Obituary
Notice Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, Common Sense. Common
Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart failure on
the brink of the new millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since
his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, and factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power
over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as
to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm,
and that life isn't always fair.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived trends including body
piercing, whole language, and "new math." In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing regulations. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and
a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his
condition. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent
to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when a
female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment
than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the
Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally, when a woman, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee
was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept
informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those
for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is
survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and MY Entitlement"
Now, aint that the truth!
