got this in an e-mail from my brother:
1. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the internet and they wont bother you for weeks.
2. Some people are like slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still cant help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
3. I read recipes the same way i read scince fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen."
4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing.
5. The other night I ate at a real family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.
6. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
7. According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is her eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
8. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
9. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
10. Have you noticed that a slight tax increase costs you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
11. Politics is suppposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
12. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.
