Author Topic: Ouch (Read 996 times)

midnight Target · « **Reply #15 on:** December 19, 2002, 11:49:36 AM »

OMG Capt.,, that hurt to read.

I may have shared this one before, but .....

I was driving across West Texas with my ex. We stopped for coffee and continued on Highway 10. About 15 minutes later I reached for the cup of java and it slips out of my hand. The liquid covers my crotch, and my initial reaction was to yell and raise up in the seat.

The thing was, the coffee had cooled enough so that there was no burning at all, just wettness.

My ex doesn't know this of course. She just sees be raise up and yell. Thinking fast, she reaches for our jug of icewater down by the floor, and dumps the entire contents onto my crotch.

I finally regained control of the car after a few seconds. Lucky it was West Texas.... no traffic.

Mighty1 · « **Reply #16 on:** December 19, 2002, 11:53:11 AM »

I burn myself all the time it seems so I finally bought an Aloe plant and keep it by the kitchen sink.

If I get burned now I just break off a little piece and rub the oil on the burn and no pain.

miko2d · « **Reply #17 on:** December 19, 2002, 12:07:06 PM »

Real burns - those that carbonise the tissue - are not painfull in the beginning because the nerves are dead. They take an awfull time to heal though.

When I was about 10 years old, I was testing my willpower by holding a sigarette to my wrist for a minute - had to blow on it to keep it up. Went all the way to the bone - just a quarter inch black circle of carbon. It took about 6 month to heal - on a child and I ended up with a circular quarter-sized scar.

Compared to that third-degree burns/blisters caused by a boiling water are much more painfull in the beginning but not nearly as bad - they heal fast and do not leave a trace. We used to fall asleep in the army next to the hot radiator and wake up wit a spectacular set of blisters on our arms.

Of course you have to be carefull with those radiators. I once had to press the back of my hand against a hot radiator for about 20 minutes. Boy, was I ever wrong! It was not water but a steam radiator! Took 4 months to heal and I have a scar on the back of my hand as a reminder of that night.

miko

capt. apathy · « **Reply #18 on:** December 19, 2002, 12:18:51 PM »

here's another one for you.

my son went to Sand Lake to ride dirtbikes on the dunes with some friends of ours. he was a freshman in highschool so as you can imagine he was going too fast (much like anyone else at that age, if you have more throttle you pull it, if you can get another gear you do).

so anyway he takes a steep hill too fast and flips the bike back on himself as he crests the top. to add to the stupidity he was riding in shorts. got a nice mufler burn on the inside of his leg.

so they bring him home. my wife calls at work and asks if she should take him to the hospital. I tell her I'll be home in a couple hours to look at and to wait till then.

so I look at it. give him a couple tylanol for the pain, clean out the sand and dead meat, put some cream on it, explain that he needs to let it get some air a couple time a day, and to "keep it clean, keep it dry, and try not to be such a dumb-ass next time". then went back to work.

so monday comes around and he goes to school, the teacher sees the bandage and asks what happened, she asks if he's seen a Dr, he tells her no but my dad looked at it. so she sends him to the clinic at the school.

so the dr agreed that it looked clean and was healing fine, and gave him some more cream for it.

then the Dr asks why he didn't go to the hospital for this burn.

the kid says "mom was going to take me but then dad came home to look at it first"

DR asks "what did your dad say when he saw how bad it was? this is a pretty serious burn"

"keep it clean, keep it dry, and try not to be such a dumb-ass next time"

Dr. says "he doesn't sound like a very compasionate man"

the kid looks at him and says "if your father wont tell you when your acting like a dumb-ass who will? compasion is what mom is for"

beet1e · « **Reply #19 on:** December 19, 2002, 12:21:23 PM »

Santa - hope it wasn't your wanking hand.

Ripsnort - wow! I didn't laugh at your injuries. But I had a little snicker (safe to use that word now that Dowding has gone) about erection difficulties! Had you "completed your family" at the time of this incident?

Gunthr · « **Reply #20 on:** December 19, 2002, 12:22:23 PM »

Quote

I was testing my willpower by holding a sigarette to my wrist for a minute

Geez, I don't think I could do that for one second... crazy things we do as kids, huh?

I saw a college janitor working in an electrical meter room who had "made a connection" with a wrench - maybe 220 or 440, not sure. Anyway he got a "flashburn" from the waist up.

Afterwords, he was sitting on a blanket on the ground holding his arms out, shedding all his skin, red as a lobster. Paramedics were pouring saline solution over him getting ready to transport. He did not feel any pain whatsoever. I asked the paramedic how bad it was. The paramedic told me that he might not survive it. I couldn't believe it. The guy who was burnt had no idea how badly he was hurt. He was talking about getting home in time to do something with his family. He went to the hospital instead, was admitted, and he was dead a few days later.

Staga · « **Reply #21 on:** December 19, 2002, 12:29:15 PM »

Santa, why don't you post this to http://www.darwinawards.com

Furious · « **Reply #22 on:** December 19, 2002, 01:12:35 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by miko2d
...I once had to press the back of my hand against a hot radiator for about 20 minutes...

why in the hell did you have to press your hand to a radiator??

Ripsnort · « **Reply #23 on:** December 19, 2002, 01:24:49 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by beet1e
Santa - hope it wasn't your wanking hand.

Ripsnort - wow! I didn't laugh at your injuries. But I had a little snicker (safe to use that word now that Dowding has gone) about erection difficulties! Had you "completed your family" at the time of this incident?

I think you read it wrong...let me put it another way, my girlfriend was NOT allowed to unclothe in front of me for a good two weeks..or else if they little bugger expanded just a hair...blisters were busting!

mietla · « **Reply #24 on:** December 19, 2002, 01:43:17 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Ripsnort
Burns are the worst, and also the worst way to die.

In 1979, our "Crew" won the Safety crew of the quarter at Boeing in Plant 2. So, customary Hot coffee and donuts (you *know* where this is going, don't you?)

I get a nice hot cup of steaming coffee in the little styrofoam cup, go back to my seat, sit down, cross my legs..oops, there goes the coffee, right down into my crotch, the whole cup. No problem, except I have tight jeans on (popular in the 70's) and now I'm grabbing my crotch to attempt to keep the hot coffee-soaked jeans away from my genitals! I went to the nurses station, and they called an ambulance, I went to Harborview Emergency where a nice gal in a white smock and a clip board came into the room..she asks "So where did you get burned"...I dropped trow and she turned about 5 shades of red and said "I'll go get the doctor". Great, I just exposed myself to a nurse..doctor comes in laughing, "I heard you've been exposing yourself to our staff!" Real funny doc. plower. 2nd degree burns on my noodle and balls, burned for a week straight. Painkillers were my best friend during that week. And even a slight erection was like getting kicked in the balls due to the blisters involved.

And you did not sue Juan Valdez? Loser

LePaul · « **Reply #25 on:** December 19, 2002, 02:30:04 PM »

Rip,

there's an entry on that Darmin Awards site for a Boeing employee...Auburn, Wa ?

"15 January 2002, Washington) A 49-year-old Boeing worker, a sixteen-year member of the Machinists union, became dangerously careless on the job and suffered dire consequences.

...He was working on a giant, computer-controlled machine that makes parts out of metal blocks using hydraulics to control its movement. The hydraulic lines hold over 20,000 PSI of pressure even when the machine is shut off. Despite redundant safety procedures, tags, warning signs, and a fearful co-worker, this employee began to remove a hydraulic line without first relieving the pressure. The bolts holding the line in place were so tight that he had to locate a 4-foot section of pipe to attach to his ratchet to give him enough leverage to loosen the bolt. For some, that would have been warning enough.

Four high-strength bolts attached the line to the machine. The soon-to-be-ex-employee had removed three, and loosened the fourth, when the bolt snapped. A foot-long, 3" diameter brass sleeve was inside the line to prevent the hose from kinking. It shot out and hit the mechanic in the forehead with such force that it knocked him back eight feet, ricocheted off his head, and hit a crane fifty feet overhead.

The maintenance worker never knew what hit him. "

Ripsnort · « **Reply #26 on:** December 19, 2002, 02:36:07 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by LePaul
Rip,

there's an entry on that Darmin Awards site for a Boeing employee...Auburn, Wa ?

"15 January 2002, Washington) A 49-year-old Boeing worker, a sixteen-year member of the Machinists union, became dangerously careless on the job and suffered dire consequences.

...He was working on a giant, computer-controlled machine that makes parts out of metal blocks using hydraulics to control its movement. The hydraulic lines hold over 20,000 PSI of pressure even when the machine is shut off. Despite redundant safety procedures, tags, warning signs, and a fearful co-worker, this employee began to remove a hydraulic line without first relieving the pressure. The bolts holding the line in place were so tight that he had to locate a 4-foot section of pipe to attach to his ratchet to give him enough leverage to loosen the bolt. For some, that would have been warning enough.

Four high-strength bolts attached the line to the machine. The soon-to-be-ex-employee had removed three, and loosened the fourth, when the bolt snapped. A foot-long, 3" diameter brass sleeve was inside the line to prevent the hose from kinking. It shot out and hit the mechanic in the forehead with such force that it knocked him back eight feet, ricocheted off his head, and hit a crane fifty feet overhead.

The maintenance worker never knew what hit him. "

Yep, I knew him too.

SOB · « **Reply #27 on:** December 19, 2002, 03:10:43 PM »

One summer we headed down to Wisconsin Dells (touristy place in WI for summer fun - waterslides and such) with my cousins to enjoy the heat. Spent all day in one park going from ride to ride, walking around, etc. No shirt or sunscreen, of course, which meant I got one hell of a sunburn on my face and upper back, shoulders and chest. Came home, put some lotion on it and enjoyed the AC.

Next morning, I had plans to go out golfing with my grandma and since I was invincible, no little sunburn would stop me even if it would be another hot Wisconsin day with plenty of humidity. Got dressed, threw on a black shirt (because I'm really smart) and went golfing. Near the last hole I started feeling really weird, no pain, just weird. So, finished the hole and headed home with grandma...started feeling more weird on the way home.

She dropped me off, and I went in, sat down on the couch and turned on the TV, still feeling weird, and then it dawned on me that it might be my sunburn, so I looked under my shirt. BLISTERS?! I took off my shirt and headed to the bathroom for a closer inspection in the mirror. My entire upper torso looked like it was wrapped in bubble wrap. Mom & Stepdad are at work, I'm wigging out as I'm now getting the willys just looking at myself (you know that feeling you get when you see something you couldn't possibly want to see or touch).

Quick idiot thinking, instead of heading for the phone to seek advice, I hopped the shower under cold water and proceeded to pop every last blister. Got out, in pain, and proceeded to dry off as best as I could without causing more pain, then called my mom in a huff and tears. She came home immediately, and all was better. Suprisingly I got no infection from popping all the blisters.

Man, it gives me the willys just to think about that to this day!

SOB

...there was also the time right after high school, when I worked at a quick lube place. Reached up to unscrew an oil filter and hit the back of my wrist on a nice hot exhaust manifold. I immediately jerked my arm down and grabbed the burned area with my other greasy hand - whiping off several layers of skin.

miko2d · « **Reply #28 on:** December 19, 2002, 03:32:47 PM »

Gunthr: Geez, I don't think I could do that for one second... crazy things we do as kids, huh?

You could say that again. When we were 12, my friend and I melted about half-liter of led (scavenged from car batteries) - maybe 5-8 pounds, had to use both hands to hold that weight steady - in a pot and decided to pour it into pot of water on the floor in order to... heck knows what we were trying to do.

Anyway, once the first drops of molten led made contact with water, there was a spectacular steam explosion, we both jumped, he bumped me (honest) and I poured few pounds of led over his arm - from elbow to the wrist.

He flung his arm and the layer of led just fell off his arm like a shell, in one piece, maybe half a pound. Surprisingly, his burns were not too severe (considering). I suspect that was because we both were sweaty from all the heat and the layer of steam from vaporised sweat protected his skin from direct contact for the crucial fraction of a second.

Few years later that same guy gave me a facefull of mace - for strictly testing purposes. We had no idea what mace was in Soviet Union - his father brough it from abroad and it was not civilian variety but a solid military/law-enforcement version from some third-world country where people are not sissies like civilised western folk. For a few minutes I was sure I've lost the eyesight. Fortunately, terrible pain distracted me from distressing thoughts untill I was able to open my eyes again...

Oh, the childhood...

miko

miko2d · « **Reply #29 on:** December 19, 2002, 03:49:56 PM »

Furious: why in the hell did you have to press your hand to a radiator??

I admit - that was not my proudest moment. I was young and full of hormones - please remember that.

I was "making out" with a bridesmaid I've just met that day at my friend's wedding - in the newlywed couple's appartment where we went after the day was over. You must understand that soviet appartments were small and furniture sparse. The only real bed was occupied by the married couple. We had to do with the less convenient piece of furniture.

I thought it would be a good idea to put my hand under her head for a while instead of repositioning her...

She seemed to be pretty impressed when she noticed the massive wound the next day. Well, she was young and still dumb too. We went out for a few months after that.

The second stupid thing I did about this burn was to tell my wife when she got curious about the origin of the scar. Even though she was what - 10-11 years old when that happened - she still feels jelous every time she sees it (it is now the color of the skin rather than ugly pink but still visible, especially if I tan). Go figure...

miko