Author Topic: Amreekans (Read 585 times)

StSanta · « **on:** January 04, 2003, 07:45:42 AM »

Deth to yor contriees! Infedil shal perrish, yor capetalest murdorers! We hates you!

Yor ignorant noses of peegs who crusade keeling righteous babies! You eat yor deth and devor rottin fleash. You drives carrs with big enjines that polutes to deth poor trees and little toadies!

Bush is Hiatler! Amreekans love explosiotating teh por who tries making good world. SUrpresors of al good - deth to Amreekans! I spit on your foots and place nails in yor eyes that are blindingded by hatred for rigteusness men!

Now yor making war noises against good natured leader of iraq! him helper of people and Amreekans wil keel becoz Amreekans hate goodness in world.

We shal figtehning back! Yor deths shal be pittance and urinating on yor graves will bring beutifull flowers tyo give to virgins!

DETH TO AMREEICA! DETH TO AMREECANS!

Just had to get it out. I feel that the Middle East isn't properly represented on this forum, so I shall take it upon me to educate the world.

Regular · « **Reply #1 on:** January 04, 2003, 07:51:38 AM »

Go away drunk ERUOIPIAN!!!

StSanta · « **Reply #2 on:** January 04, 2003, 08:07:53 AM »

Oh my American friend. I am merely putting forth the opnions of our beloved Middle Eastern friends. True, they sometimes want to kill us, but this is due to environment. We'll just have to hug them a bit more.

Oh, said friend would like to say this as a a response:

"Juropeens whill parish in fire and piss on boots for tehm also".

There.

bigUC · « **Reply #3 on:** January 04, 2003, 08:18:22 AM »

I thought that was HT coming out of hiding and finally shedding some light on his religious views?

Regular · « **Reply #4 on:** January 04, 2003, 08:20:33 AM »

I only speak AMREEKAN.

HUH?

Curval · « **Reply #5 on:** January 04, 2003, 09:15:12 AM »

An oldy but a goody if you are into stereotypes:

Subject: I AM

I AM CANADIAN

Hey...
I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak English & French, NOT American.
and I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.
I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,
AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!

MY NAME IS JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!

I AM ITALIAN

Ciao...
I'm not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor.
I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night.
And I don't drive a Camaro.
And I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge,
Although I'm certain they're very, very hairy people.

I drink wine...not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza.
I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash.
And its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the worldcup.
Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies,
Antonio Columbro IS the best of the tenors,
And it's Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!

Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear,
The FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!!
My name is Guiseppe !!!
AND I AM ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM SERBIAN

Zdravo...
I'm not a murderer, a rapist or a war criminal.
I don't live in a trench, and I don't drive a Yugo.
And I don't know Jovan, Milorad or Zoran from Mississauga,
Although I'm certain they're very nice people.

I drink spirits...not watered-down beer.
I believe in paying for drinks round by round, not just for myself.
And its pronounced shly-vo-vi-tza, not sli-vo-vitz.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the the world basketball championship.
Rakija IS brandy, Sarma IS cabbage rolls,
We DO have the most beautiful women in the world,
And it's Ser-bi-ya, not Si-bi-ri-a!!

Serbia is the ONLY country involved in a war every 50 years,
The FIRST nation of basketball, And the TALLEST part of Europe!!
My name is Djordje !!!
AND I AM SERBIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I AM PAKISTANI

Allo,
I'm not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant.
I don't go to fleamarkets, or worshipelephants, or eat with my hands.
And I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle,
Although I'm certain they're very smelly people.

I eat roti....not pita. I don't only shower once a week,
I believe in discounts, not full price.
And I! pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT.
I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist
siege.
A turban IS an article of clothing.
Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods
Curry is a VERY tasty dish,
and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee ,GAUN-dee!!

Pakistan IS a third world country,
The first nation of Cricket
And the BEST part of the middle east!!
My name is Raheem!
AND I AM PAKISTANI!!!!

I AM CHINESE!

Wai...
I'm not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat.
I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a souped-up Civic.
And I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt Heights
Although I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice people.

I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk.
I believe in giving cash, not gifts
And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO.
I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank duri! ng a massacre,
Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk
Jet Li can kick Van Damme's bellybutton anyday.
And it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fa

China is the LARGEST country in Asia
The FIRST nation of PING-PONG,
And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!
My name is FUNG!!!
AND I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and finally........

I AM AMERICAN

Wassup...
I'm not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very
well.
I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg,
although I'm pretty sure they were American.
I drink beer, not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go
somewhere.
Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
winkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL!

The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world,
The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!!
MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND I AM AMERICAN!!!!!

lazs2 · « **Reply #6 on:** January 04, 2003, 10:10:21 AM »

With all these fine people from other nations around it seems somehow unfair that the unwashed heathen in the U.S. own everything eh? Maybe you could all get together and write a nasty letter or something?
lazs

AKIron · « **Reply #7 on:** January 04, 2003, 10:35:41 AM »

Funnier still Curval that all those mentioned live where? What's that? I can't hear you.

Curval · « **Reply #8 on:** January 04, 2003, 11:00:26 AM »

I meant it as "tongue-in cheek"...which is why I said "if you are into stereotypes".

Maybe the one about Americans should include

"If anything even remotely resembling a criticism of the US is posted on a BB I get upset".

You guys are so sensitive.

Here's one that I will add:

I am Bermudian

I don't sell trinkets to tourists on beaches, I don't hide money from tax collectors

I don't live in a grass hut.

I don't know Dave or Andy from Bermuda, but I'm sure they have really great tans.

I have a Premier, not a President or Prime Minister and all of our politicians are crooked money grubbing Champagne swilling spendthrifts.

I believe in the American dollar, not the pound or Euro (except to hedge against a possible drop in the value of the mighty American dollar)..but I fiercy claim I am not part of the United Staes.

I consider speedos an offront to the morals of the people of my country although g-strings on ladies are acceptable.

I make fun of Canadians and Americans but travel there every chance I get.

My country's national symbol is a seagull with a long tail.

I wear Bermuda shorts, long socks, white shirts and a blazer during the summer months and am featured in a number of photoalbums around the world...with captions underneath saying "THIS IS what those geeks wear to work."

My name is Curval and I am

BERMUDIAN.

T0J0 · « **Reply #9 on:** January 04, 2003, 11:05:52 AM »

Very distasteful!!
But that was humor right?

AKIron · « **Reply #10 on:** January 04, 2003, 11:07:36 AM »

Well, being the "Great Satan" and the cause for all the world's ills is very expensive and the high taxation required to subjugate the rest of the world does make me at least a little irritable.

Curval · « **Reply #11 on:** January 04, 2003, 11:14:08 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by AKIron
Funnier still Curval that all those mentioned live where? What's that? I can't hear you.

Canada for the most part...this came from a Canadian friend of mine.

Woodbridge is a suburb NW of Toronto.

Missisaugua is a suburb W of Toronto.

Rundle...don't know...I would have kept the consistancy and said Etobicoke a suburb E of Toronto.

Beddingt Heights...don't know...again I would have kept the consistancy and said Richmond Hill a suburb N of Toronto.

AKDejaVu · « **Reply #12 on:** January 04, 2003, 11:14:28 AM »

We'd invade Denmark if the military thought the soldiers would make it past all the topless women on the beach.

AKDejaVu

Curval · « **Reply #13 on:** January 04, 2003, 11:17:16 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by T0J0
Very distasteful!!
But that was humor right?

Kinda like making fun of customers who call in with technical problems...shame on you.

Airhead · « **Reply #14 on:** January 04, 2003, 11:50:47 AM »

Curval very good, thanks for posting..but what's the REAL reason you won't wear a speedo? Package issues?