Once upon a time there was a dumb little broad named Little Red Riding Hood.
This was back when people had four names, a few people still have long weird names today, but this is good as it serves us in finding out who the problem people are when we can't actually see them.
Anyway, one day, being the abject airhead she was, Little Red Riding Hood decided to take a basket of fruit to her grandmother's house through a wolf infested woods without proper weaponry.
Her grandmother, an ignorant bimbo in her own right, had no job, so just laid around in bed all day waiting for someone to give her handouts.
Not only was she a lazy bum living off the sweat of others, but she was also dumb enough to not possess a semi-automatic machine pistol which is what makes Gooseland the safe place it is.
For as you know, it is well documented that we only have ten times as many gun deaths as the other Fairylands.
While Little Red Riding Hood was mindlessly wandering through the woods -- as women always do when grappling with nature -- unbeknownst to her, a wolf got into Grandma's bedroom, ripped her wrinkly old throat out, and fed on her internal organs until there was nothing left of the unarmed welfare leech Grandma but a frilly nightdress.
The wolf, with a bent toward being a studmuffin, put the old lady's jammies on and laid in the bed figuring that sooner or later some other nitwit squeak would be by who he could eat.
By and by, Little Red Riding Hood entered Grandma's bedroom to see in the bed a large bloody mouthed wolf in a dress.
So the dumb chick, with her brain obviously wandering in some feminazi fantasy land they spend most of their time in, totally missed the reality of the matter and began commenting on the size of the wolf's various facial features.
The wolf, enraged at having to listen to the stupid broad's nonsensical ramblings, jumped out of the bed and ate Little Red Riding Hood.
Do not fret, the story has a happy ending. A Woodsman, a firm advocate of supply side economics, 2nd Amendment absolutism, sometimes owl hunter, seal clubber and whale harpooner was in the neighborhood clear cutting the forest and mowing down anything that moved with his arsenal of high tech weaponry.
Hearing the slurping sounds of the wolf feeding on dumb broads, he ran into the small cabin and let fly 16 rounds of 12 gauge buckshot from his Streetsweeper, in less than ten seconds the wolf was shot into various hunks of flying flesh.
There is a moral to the story: That even though someone does the world a favor by eliminating liberal leaning feminazi bimbos, we must, for the sake of public relations, draw the line at eating them.
