How NOT to launch a personal water craft

[StSanta]

Looks like you're in decent shape airhead.

Think you'd be just gorgeous in a pink metal studded leather g-string worn under a pink shot-short dress.

If you do, you qualify for 9./JG54 'Grünherz'. Watch Kirin though; he'll knick yer knickers off yer body if ya ain't careful.

And you never know where he has been.

[Airhead]

Thanks Santa, I saw a pic of me that shamed me into the gym. I've lost 30 lbs. in 18 months, really, I used to be fat. Here's me when I was fat...