Never thought I would type the following.....
I just got back from 30 days of drug rehab.
That xanax thing kicked me in the bellybutton harder than anything ever has! I've learned so much in the past month it's scarey. Main thing I learned was that I was on one of the most addictive substances on the planet and xanax has arguably the most dificult and dangerous withdrawals of any drug out there. The primary withdrawals (which included the seizure) lasted for just over a week. That was the hardest week I've ever lived through! Suicide was always on my mind and that's why I checked into the rehab, I thought I was insane for good. The "other" thing the doctor didn't tell me was that xanax has 2 sets of withdrawals. So about a week after I got through the first set I went into "secondary" withdrawal which wasn't quite as seveer and lasted only about 4 days, but it still sucked.
Been sober for 30 days now (I didn't think that was possible for me) and I have never felt better!
Hopefully I won't make an bellybutton out of myself here anymore. I've learned how to control my anger more than I ever thought possible for me. The only bummer is that I've had to move in with my mom for the next 3 or 4 months to save money to get my own place. But at least I'm alive and not crazy anymore
The depression is gone too
Been dealing with that for about 5 years now and I can't tell you guys how good it feels to feel good.
I just want to say that I'm sorry for all the crazy toejam I wrote here the 2 or 3 months before I hit bottom. I don't know when I'll be back in the arena, but hopefully around the 15th of the month I'll be able to afford it
I'll try and type more about what I learned last month tomorrow, if I have time.
later!
