Author Topic: Iraq, N. Korea kick Iran out of Axis of Evil (Read 1242 times)

Gunthr · « **on:** January 15, 2003, 07:56:05 AM »

Iraqi spokesman Al-jaber Kareehm and N. Korean frontman Ha' Kyung announced Tuesday that Iran is not pulling its weight in the Axis of Evil.

According to Mr. Kareehm, "Its true that the Iranians took some American hostages at the embassy, but that was 20 years ago. We must look at what they have done for us lately - which is nothing. "

Mr. Ha' Kyung expressed similar views in the joint communique, stating that Iran has not done anything lately to warrant membership in the Axis. "If Iran does not perpetrate evil acts soon, or at least spout some hyperbole against the great Satan, Iran too can become a sea of fire and glass. We will all die to last drop of blood and unleash our ultimate options in defiance of those who are dead weight in the Axis of Evil" ...

Developing...

Dowding · « **Reply #1 on:** January 15, 2003, 08:01:29 AM »

hehehe

Lazerus1 · « **Reply #2 on:** January 15, 2003, 12:18:46 PM »

Great post, made my morning.

Subscription to 'The Onion'?

Dune · « **Reply #3 on:** January 15, 2003, 12:23:39 PM »

That's great. The best one was from SatireWire.com:

Quote

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA
SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs

Beijing (SatireWire.com) — Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Sometimes Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

Tarmac · « **Reply #4 on:** January 15, 2003, 12:30:03 PM »

Heh, Chadguay.

AKIron · « **Reply #5 on:** January 15, 2003, 01:04:57 PM »

whgates3 · « **Reply #6 on:** January 15, 2003, 04:19:37 PM »

headlines from the daily probe

N. Korea: "So Where Are All the Dog-Eating Jokes Now, Motherdiddlyer?"

Townshend Announces Kids Are Alright Tour With Boy George, Kid Rock, Lil' Kim

Chinese Space Capsule Lands Safely; Chinese Astronauts' Lucky Numbers 8, 14, 37, 44

Ms. Feminist Pageant Folds

Scientists Taunt Near-Earth Asteroid

Iraqi Week Magazine Names Saddam Man of Year for 23rd Time

"Stimulus Package" Enters Double Entendre Hall of Fame

Doughnut Weds bellybutton in Private Ceremony

UserName · « **Reply #7 on:** January 15, 2003, 09:42:15 PM »

http://www.theonion.com/onion3901/bush_on_north_korea.html

Makarov9 · « **Reply #8 on:** January 16, 2003, 12:35:55 AM »

Silly Bush calling N. Korea an axis of evil. They are just misunderstood after all...

http://www.msnbc.com/news/859191.asp?vts=011520032205

Toad · « **Reply #9 on:** January 16, 2003, 12:47:52 AM »

Makarov, that is one depressing piece of literature.

Bet people don't want to talk about that though.... or else it's all made up, right?

Whew.

Makarov9 · « **Reply #10 on:** January 16, 2003, 09:54:03 AM »

Agreed, it's fashionable for the left to make fun of silly little Bush and his "Axis of Evil" speech. The sad part is how they let their political views outweigh their sense of morality.

Sometimes evil is actually...evil.

whgates3 · « **Reply #11 on:** January 16, 2003, 08:57:36 PM »

NBC will say anything to scoop the other networks. very easy to make a target seem awful by only interviewing it's enemies (former prisoners, south korean & US officials were the cited sources)

Suave · « **Reply #12 on:** January 16, 2003, 09:26:25 PM »

Iraq's not the only one not pulling weight in the axis of evil . What has Transylvania done lately ?

AKIron · « **Reply #13 on:** January 16, 2003, 09:53:52 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by whgates3
NBC will say anything to scoop the other networks. very easy to make a target seem awful by only interviewing it's enemies (former prisoners, south korean & US officials were the cited sources)

And besides, if the US were actually attempting to alleviate suffering and end tyranny all the ranting by the left would seem pretty heartless wouldn't it?

whgates3 · « **Reply #14 on:** January 17, 2003, 12:41:33 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by AKIron
And besides, if the US were actually attempting to alleviate suffering and end tyranny all the ranting by the left would seem pretty heartless wouldn't it?

undoubtedly - chong can crap on his slaves as much as he wants as long as we dont have to worry about his ability to hurt us. i wonder how many of his political oponents he has opressed with his nukes...