In need a desperate advise

[Saurdaukar]

$350 an hour - I accept paypal.  

[Tommy]

if you live in an apartment have her go th her mothers and get the locks change it will cost you about 25 bucks to do it. and dont answer the door when she comes home. pack her bags and place them on the porch or by the door and tell her to get them before they go to the trash.


Do what they say dump her she wont change. She was raised lazy and will always be lazy. She also is thinking you are cheating on her because she is cheating on you. Yuo can also file charges on her and get a restyraining order to keep her away for your protection that is ( keep you out of jail).


Tommy (INDN) Toon

[Raubvogel]

The #1 thing to remember whenever you're planning to leave a woman is to make sure you grudge-f#@k her right before you tell her it's over.

[capt. apathy]

please ignore the last 2 posts-

1. (most important) DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER AGAIN.  fate is cruel.  it would be very ironic (therefore likely) for her to get pregnant on the last time.  also if she suspects you are going she is likely to get pregnant on purpose (if she can't have you she might as well get your wallet) poking holes in rubbers is an old old trick.

2. unless you own your house it's not worth the hassle to try and keep.  if you move her out she will come back, beat on the door cause you trouble, get the cops involved.  much simpler to tell her she needs a break, give her some cash and send her shopping.  meanwhile have everyone you know waiting around the corner to help you move out as fast as possable.  shut off all utilitys in your name, notify the landlord, and don't look back.  this way if she comes to hassle you she's the crazed stalker type, instead of you being the bad guy who kicked her out without warning.

edit-  and if you have time call the landlord to come inspect the place before she gets back. that way she cant trash it in a temper tantrum and leave you liable.  

[davidpt40]

Theres an old saying "You can't change people".  She is probably partially insane.  Next time marry someone maybe a bit less attractive and a bit less insane.

[Hortlund]

You better believe the NO SEX part.

Met this girl 3-4 years ago. Fell in love, everything was perfect. She needed a place to stay, so I let her move in with me. (I had known this girl 7-8 years before we got involved).

ANYWAY, relationship starts to crack after 4-5 months...you know how it can be.

Came home from work one night she was waiting by the kitchen table "honey, I'm pregnant"

alright...I mean, Im in a still good relationship, I have a decent job, I have a good place to live, I'm 26 years old, she is 26 years old, abortion is out of the question.

The next 9 monts are horrible, as the girlfriend slowly transforms into psycho-b*tch. I'm constantly thinking "got to make this one work, kid must have a family" so I stay. I mean...Im not the kind of guy who walks out on his pregnant girlfriend...right?

Elliot is born, and for the next 3 months everything is ok actually. Not because our situation improved or anything, but because I was kinda focused on the kid and on work.

3 months pass, psycho b*tch returns. She is all over me wondering if Im cheating, if I would want to cheat on her, if I think she is still attractive, why I dont do this or that anymore. She starts bossing me around, do the dishes, clean this, do that, stop playing on that stupid computer, do you really think you are a fighter pilot? You idiot. You want to get a beer with your buddies? Forget it, you are staying right here at home and clean something.

Meanwhile, Im spending 10-14 hours at work everyday busting my as* off trying to make the economy work, I come home around 7-8pm, just wanting to eat, play with son for a while, and then crash into bed before I have get up around 5am next morning. I'm like "how on earth would I find the time to cheat even if I wanted to". I cant go to a bar and get a beer with my buddies because everytime I do she either freaks out and starts screeming at me (who are you really going to see? What is her name?) OR I come home and find her crying in some corner of the appartment (nobody loves me, and you dont care about anything else but your drinking buddies).

Needless to say, I wanted out of the relationship...but still, it is not easy to leave when you have kids together.

So I figure, it could be worse. I mean, I have a good job, a wonderful kid, a good place to live, and sometimes (like once a month) the relationship is good.

So anyway, about a year ago, she is going out with some of her friends. I figure "great, now I can sit up all night and play aces high without having someone breathing down my neck all the time."

She comes home around 5 am, t o t a l l y drunk. I mean she is so drunk she is stumbling around in the appartment turning stuff over. She comes into the bedroom looking to score...Im like "no way...forget that." She starts taking about suicide. I'm like "uh...what?"

Thats when I decided to leave. I mean, clearly the relationship was *really* bad for both of us, I just never realized that it was that bad. So the next day I find another appartment, and a couple of weeks later I move out.

Three weeks later she tells me she is pregnant again...

[bigUC]

Originally posted by davidpt40
Theres an old saying "You can't change people".  

Partly correct, personality is considered stable after reaching adulthood.  However, most people can learn to dampen their more unattractive sides. Accusations of cheating and  demands of reassurance on appearance etc.  is usually a good indicator of low-self esteem.  She is probably failing to cope with certain issues of her new situation. Getting married when your 18 takes away a lot of choices she might have later, or so it often seems...   Does she have stable relationships (friends) with other people you know?  She might benefit from getting a new job/starting an education. Most "lazy" people can really suffer from depression.  Depression makes even simple tasks seem extremely difficult and tiring, and in some people lead to aggression (mostly men).  Other signs of depression: Lack of interest in earlier hobbies etc.  Reduced sosial network, lack of interest in others.  Changes in appetite and sleep pattern (often early awakening).  A "flat" mood - doesn't react to emotional material.  Extreme tiredness/need for sleep.  Self-indulgent, self occupied. Has she had mental illness before?  Is there mental illness in her family?  Did she change into this state, or has she always been like this?
Seek out a good counselor/therapist, preferably an institution that helps families.  they can evaluate this better...  A doctor might prescribe an anti-depressant to her.

(I'm in the profession , but pls don't consider this as professional advice. Good luck to you both...)

[Ping]

I married an 18yo when I was 19. Stayed together for 8 years.
Had 2 kids who are now 18 and 14. Don't regret the kids but damn it was misery for the last 6 years of the marriage. My experience is that it is never 100% fault on 1 side, but if you know that the marriage IS going to fail, Don't prolong it.
Divorce is never easy on kids.

[Heater]

it sounds like time to pack it in, and give her the boot!

[fd ski]

damn Hortmund, i'm really sorry to hear that man.
Now i'll have to give you far less toejam out of pity !!!

[Naso]

Just one word:

[SIZE=25]RUN![/SIZE]

[28sweep]

Listen to Tom Lykus on the radio...he'll put everything in perspective for you.  They key to saving yourself is to not have kids with her.  When you do-your attached to her forever.............

[nuchpatrick]

Cherlie,

For sure do not tell her your leaving.  See the lawyer get all your paper work settled.  Get her out of the house with her mom for a few hours.. get your belongings and never talk to her again.

Good luck!

[rosco]

I Think capt. apathy has the best advice. Only thing I would add is dont get married again untill you both are at least 30

[capt. apathy]

1 more thing leave some of these  behind when you leave