hehe email i recieved today that made me laugh.......
When I was a kid adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with
walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through
year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to
their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average
despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where
they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from
starving to death! And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there
was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids
about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But....
Now that I've reached the ripe old age of twenty-five, I can't help but look
around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so diddlyin' easy! I mean,
compared to my childhood, you live in a whoopeeed Utopia! And I hate to say
it but you kids today don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was
a kid we didn't have The Internet-we wanted to know something, we had to go
to the whoopeeed library and look it up ourselves! And there was no email!
We had to actually write somebody a letter-with a pen!--and then you had to
walk all the way across the street and put it in the diddlyin' mailbox and it
would take like a week to get there! And there were no MP3s or Napsters! You
wanted to steal music, you had to go to the whoopeeed record store and
shoplift it yourself! Or we had to wait around all day to tape it off the
radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and diddly it all up! You
want to hear about hardship? You couldn't just download porn! You had to
bribe some homeless dude to buy you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! It was
either that or jackoff to the lingerie section of the JC Penney catalog!
Those were your options! We didn't have fancy toejam like Call Waiting! If you
were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal! And we
didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no
idea who it was it could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your
drug dealer, you didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your
chances, mister! And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames
with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like
"Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a
little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple
levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win,
the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating!
All the seats were the same height! A tall guy sat in front of you, you were
screwed! And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like
20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book
called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network!
You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... ...D'ya hear what the
diddly I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy
You're spoiled, I swear to God! You guys wouldn't last five minutes back
in1984!
