Top ten reasons why LW pilots are superior

[StSanta]

10: By definition, LW pilots are superior. First of all, LuftWaffe is written in a cool language, and directly translated means Air Weapon. beats pantsy "air force" (what force, the wind? Gravity EH?) used by allied opportunists and their lowlife compatriots.

9: The plane names/looks. one oh nine or the "just going straight" one ninetee a eight. And just look at those aircraft; that's SEXY. Brutal force combined with grace, beauty and a dash of utter ruthlessness. Diametrically opposed to allied sissy aircraft. Then there's the naming issue; 190/109 are sexy, scary names. "P-51" sounds like a pee valve for incontinent old men.

8: Iron cross markings. Enough said.

7: German on Roger Wilco. Spheetfeure, drei uhr, ZUM ANGRIFF! beats "uhm, like, there uh, some low 190's down there, let's attack them and then run away screaming like litte girls".

6: We attack! We fight no matter what! The enemy has alt advantage? Who cares, it's only equal numbers. Means they get to live a little longer.

5: Unlike allierte schweinhunde aircraft, our JABO's only take one egg, requiring us to have much more precision and force when we strike and capture airfields.

4: Inferior cannons and machine guns that require a lot more lead and of course requires the pilot to maneuver his plane much closer to the enemy. The 900 yards spray and pray allied crap just doesn't work; d300 and you will hit, d350 if you're lucky.

3: While our planes are the most beautiful, they aren't the best out there. Either they're very fast but have horrible roll, high speed handling, guns, trimming characteristics, no turn, or they're relatively slow with no climb, no turn rate and vicious stall behaviour. The plane require Real Men(tm) at the stick, and LW pilots are Real Men(tm).

2: Unlike allied pilots, we can handle a lot of beer, and we take a piss standing up.

1: I am the light at the end of your sorry little tunnel.

Now, allied opportunists, make way for your superior human beings.

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StSanta
9./JG 54 "Grünherz"
 
"I am the light at the end of your sorry little tunnel." - A. Eldricht

[This message has been edited by StSanta (edited 01-13-2001).]

[leonid]

I look forward to meeting you in the skies in February, Luftwaffeubermensch, when 5 GIAP fights 9./JG54    

Oh, and we drink beer too.  To chase the vodka with  

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leonid, Kompol
5 GIAP VVS-KA, Knights

"Our cause is just.  The enemy will be crushed.  Victory will be ours."


[This message has been edited by leonid (edited 01-13-2001).]

[Dowding]

LW pilots like leather a little too much. German planes are the most ugly, uninspired lumps of aerospace effluent you'll find in the skies of AH.

After the La-5, that is.  

See ya for the duel StSanta - if Leonid still wants me, I'll be on loan from No. 272 Sq. to 5 GIAP.  

[SOB]

...and the real number one reason that LuftWaffle pilots are superior...

Strong Backs...brought about by the cross that they have to bear.  Flying inferior aircraft with inferior weapons with even the game designer himself completely opposed to their success, & only their whits, strong wills & fierce determination to pull them through.

I Salute all of you LuftWaffle boys!


SOB
...this steaming pile has again been brought to you by the Oregon FDB Chapter of The LuftWaffle Flyers Association.  

[Fishu]

 

Originally posted by Dowding:
LW pilots like leather a little too much. German planes are the most ugly, uninspired lumps of aerospace effluent you'll find in the skies of AH.

I'd say german plane designers were overly inspired  

[Hangtime]

Dammo..

That guy still out here chumming?

Is somebody ever gonna tell 'em the Japanese already got all the whales?

new opportunist motto.... "Save the fat chicks! HARPOON THE LW!"

LOL

Hang

[Nashwan]

Top ten reasons why RAF pilots are superior
10: By definition, RAF pilots are superior. The RAF has "Royal" in it's name, therby elevating it above all the common air forces out there.

9: The plane names/looks. Spitfire, Typhoon, Hurricane Beaufighter etc. Most other countries are so dull they can't even think of a name for their planes, eg 109, 190, Ju88, p51, p47, p38, F4U, F6F, etc ad nauseum

8: Unlike other AFs, who put all manner of gaudy symbols on their planes, our pilots paint targets on theirs and challenge the enemy to hit them.

7: Proper English on Roger Wilco. "I say chaps, the blighter's over there"

6: We stick around and fight. We don't make one firing pass at the enemy then run screaming back to base.

5: Unlike many other AFs, our planes often carry no ordanance at all, or have the options they had in real life removed in AH.

4: Many of our planes still have .303 mgs, meaning we can make your plane light up like a Christmas tree without hurting you. Aren't we nice?

3: While our planes are the most beautiful, they aren't the best out there. In real life we made the best planes, but here we limit ourselves to the early war planes to give you foreigners a sporting chance.

2: Unlike other pilots, we can handle a lot of beer, and we take the piss.

1: I am very very drunk

[This message has been edited by Nashwan (edited 01-13-2001).]

[PakRat]

LOL Santa!

But we know you guys really like our pinup gals much better than your nearly-Russian stature Hanna Reitsch plump women.

Or at least we think you like women   A little too much rump-slapping over there if you ask me. Fits in with all that leather and boot business.

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Rape, pillage, then burn...

[Baddawg]

I brush my teeth with beer.  
I Use Vodka as visine.  
I Pour tequila over my corn flakes.  
I am a P51D Mustang pilot. super--->  
We  do it faster ,longer and with more penetration .  
Don't bother us with your petty jealousies just because we are .... ahem equipped better.  

[Dowding]

Well said Nashwan.  

[Sunchaser]

Well none of that matters one whit StSanta!

We have THE COOLEST NOSEART and way more of it!

Run 'n' Hide Luftwafflers!

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When did they put this thing in here and WTF is it for?

[This message has been edited by Sunchaser (edited 01-13-2001).]

[AKDejaVu]

 

2: Unlike allied pilots, we can handle a lot of beer, and we take a piss standing up.

I really think we should leave the LW women out of this one.

[bike killa]

 

   

[This message has been edited by bike killa (edited 01-13-2001).]

[SFRT - Frenchy]

Frenchy's remake:A superior pilot is the one who doesn't have to use his superior skills to get out from a situation who would require a superior  plane"

...and that is definitly a P47 pilot.

 

[This message has been edited by SFRT - Frenchy (edited 01-13-2001).]

[funked]

Santa, I hate to break it to you, but BEER AIN'T DRINKIN'!    

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FunkedUp, Officer Commanding, 308 (Polish) Squadron "City of Cracow" RAF
Northolt Wing (1st Polish Fighter Wing)

"We hadn't wanted this bloody awful war that the Huns seemed to think so glorious.  We had been forced to fight.  And now that we are fighting, we thought, we'll teach you rotten Huns how to fight.  We'll shoot your pissy little fighters out of the sky, we'll rip your dirty great bombers to shreds, we'll make you wish to Christ you'd never heard of the aeroplane!"

[This message has been edited by funked (edited 01-13-2001).]