"I gave my cat a bath the other day ... they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that..." - Steve Martin
"To bathe a cat requires brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction... and a cat. The last ingredient is the hardest to come by." - Stephen Baker
"The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath." - W. C. Fields
"The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer." - Paula Poundstone
"The last thing I would accuse a cat of is innocence." - Edward Paley (1786-1847)
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece." - Leonardo da Vinci
"How you behave toward cats here below determines your status in Heaven." - Robert A. Heinlein
"There is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten." - Jules Champfleury
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." - Abraham Lincoln
"Ignorant people think it's the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it's the sickening grammar they use." - Mark Twain
"People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." - Mary Bly
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." - Robert A. Heinlein
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff." - Theodore Roosevelt
"A home without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat, may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove its title?" - Mark Twain
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." - Missy Dizick
"In Instanbul I met a man who said he knew beyond a doubt that God was a cat. I asked why he was so sure, and the man said, "When I pray to him, he ignores me." - Lowell Thomas
Peter said, "There is one thing I know'st, among cat angels highest and low'st. They arrive, don their wings, then of all wicked things, use my Gates as their new scratching post!" - St. Peter's Lament
"Cat angels are the reason there are no mice angels." - Mel Brooks
"The dumbest cat is smarter than the smartest dog. You'll never get 8 cats to pull a sled through snow." -Mark Twain
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax... and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein
