what what gooss says, what's good for the goose will cook your gander
Honk gooss

I feel the same way you do -- i will b/z, but in the end, its boring. So do try to find people you like and fly with them, even if its not a squad, or even if they are not the best. Plane choice is critical especially when you fly without a wingman -- the hog is good, but unless you fly carefully, will get run down. I typically choose the 51d for gang bang environments mostly due to good speed and great visibility. You will find certain planes that suite your style -- l love the spit and f6f, but while i try the lala, for some reason i miss....go figure.
As you watch yourself die, ask questions like: when did i go from having a chance to being the victim? should I stick with a fight when the intended victim's plane outperforms mine in the current envelope? often, pilots keep too much speed and get worked by a slickster who dumps some e to gain the shot, or keep in a fight they should get out of.
One other thing, fly the planes you most hate to engage -- you will learn what they can do, and what their weaknesses are. That knowledge helps you understand how to employ your favorite plane.
bockk