Since 90% of the BBS lately comprises of similar threads with different titles - all pertaining to anthrax, Iraq, or British supremacy, I figured I'd post a a few little tidbits for a simple shallow laugh.
So, without further ado, unless you need further proof that human race is doomed through stupidity, here are a few actual label instructions on consumer goods in various countries:
On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. See details inside."
On a bar od Dial soap: "Use like regular soap."
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
On Marks & Spencer Breadpudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
On packaging for Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on the body."
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate heavy machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On Sunsbury peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
On an AA packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open bag, eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garmet does not enable you to fly."
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
And of course - some good old fashion "Make fun of yourself" American humor.
Only in America...
1.) Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2.) Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3.) Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4.) Do people order double cheesburgers, large fries, and Diet Cokes.
5.) Do banks leave both doors open and chain pens to the counters.
6.) Do we have cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and useless junk in the garage.
7.) Do we use call waiting to screen calls and then have answering machines so we wont miss a call from someone we didnt want to talk to in the first place.
8.) Do we buy hot dogs in packages of 10 and buns in packages of 8.
9.) Do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" from the Latin word meaning "Many" and "tics" meaning "Bloodsucking creatures."
10.) Do we have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
That is all - bomb Iraq.
