Mrs. Simpson is on her deathbed, and she says to her
husband, "will you ride with my mother on the way to the
grave?"
He says, "All right, but it's going to ruin my whole day."
A group of English gentlemen are sitting around in the
den of a London men's club, and it's a special gathering,
because the oldest member, Colonel Rowlinson, is there.
One of the men says, "Colonel, why don't you tell us a
tale from one of your exploits?" Colonel Rowlinson says, "well there was a time years ago when we were trekking through the Kenyan Jungle. The fuzzy-tops were quite tired, what with carrying all the bundles as they cleared a path through the dense underbrush. WE came to a clearing, so we sat to have a spot of tea and regain our strength. when suddenly, out of the foliage leaps a nine foot tiger. Rrrooaarrr! My god, I toejam myself.
One of the gentlemen says well colonel thats perfectly understandable what with a huge tiger coming at you
The colonel says not then you blithering idiot just now I went Rrrooaarr.