American National Pride & Homeland Security Day:
As we all know, the Taliban considers it a sin for a man to see a naked woman, who is not his wife.
So, this Saturday at 2:00 PM all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban, demonstrating that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.
And, since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
America appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
