Hey, don't underestimate the power of a cat.
My wife and I own two dogs and a cat... We used to have one of those old ladies who feeds all the stray cats living a few doors down. The cat population escalted to epidemic proportions within a year.
As with all species of animals, one will always try to establish himself at the top of the pecking order. This alpha male cat beat the crap out of our cat on several occasions and we had to take her to the vet twice for stitches. Enough was enough...
But being a kind hearted soul I decided I was going to catch him and bring him to the pound. I put a cat carrier with a bowl of food out in the courtyard of my house and waited... Behold the Bastard cometh! I saw his behind sticking out the door of the cat carrier, snuck outside and attempted to shove the little bastard inside and close the door. As soon as I touched him, he whipped around quicker than a bolt of lightning, latched onto my hand with a vengeance and bit the living crap out of me. Not one to quit, I grabbed his hind leg as he was trying to run. He spun around and tried to bite me again. Being a scientific type of guy, I quickly deduced that if I swung him around fast enough, the g forces and inertia would prevent him from being able to reach around and bite me. This worked like a charm.
So here I am latched on to the cat's hind leg swinging him around in cirles like a windmill... Now what... Perhaps he'll be swung into submission and quit trying to bite me when I stop swinging him. As soon as I stopped swinging him around, he immediately bit me again. This had become a battle of who had the stronger will and the cat won. After the flying hair cleared, I went back into the house a beaten man and patched up my battle wounds.
Later that evening, I log onto Aces High with my hand bandaged and in quite a bit of pain. I was playing happily when I heard it... A loud howling sound coming from outside my window. As I cracked the blinds and took a peek to see what it was, I spotted that bastard cat sitting on the roof of my car staring at me and taunting me. He was the victor enjoying the spoils by dominantly sitting on top of MY car.
That did it... No more Mr. Nice Guy. I went in the closet and loaded a single bullet into the .22 calibre rifle I've had since I was 16 years old. I hadn't fired the rifle in probably 15 years and hoped the old ammunition would still fire. I cracked the sliding door open and assumed the prone position. That bastard cat was still staring at me as I lined him up for a good shot. Squeezing gently, the shot went off. A big poof of hair flew from the cat's chest as he launched himself vertically about 10 feet in the air. He was hissing and flailing around trying desperately to attack whatever just poked him the chest, but to no avail. His bellybutton was MINE! The hunter was now the hunted.
Being an animal lover and all, I amazingly felt no remorse. If only he wouldn't have gotten on top of my car...
