A pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver. He placed it on top of the instrument panel, then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?" The nav replied timidly, "No, what's it for?" The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!"
The navigator proceeded to pull out a .45 and place it on his chart table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?"
"To be honest sir," the nav replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."
---------------------------------------
The passengers on a small commuter plane were quite surprised when the pilots arrived. They both walked up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses... One had a seeing-eye dog, the other was tapping his way to the cockpit with a white-tipped cane.
The cockpit door closes, the engines start up. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway.
People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway. Panic ensues. Screams fill the air.
At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.
The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly. Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot.... "Y 'know Bob," he says, "one day they're gonna scream too late, and we're all gonna die."