I suppose every on-line simmer goes through this change in mental attitude that I now find myself embracing. I have been playing AH for just about a year. Some times very heavily, while at other times not playing at all.
I do not know for sure, but I doubt that I started out this way. I am not really sure where my
compassion went, but I sort of feel like playing the game drained it out of me somehow.
Where did my sense of "Mercy" go?
Where is my "Compassion" for the other player?
Why do I feel like a "Loser", this is only an game?
War is hell!
It seems that my exposure to AH seems lined with frustration. Be it my in-ability to improve or see progress, the constant feeling of defeat at the expense of anothers victory or the brow beating I sometimes take (and often rightfully earn 
) on this BBS.
Let me relate a story of my most recent escapade:
The set-up was that the Bishrook team was putting heavy pressure on my team. Down to 3 bases, with 2 of them under constant attack.
I took off from field A1, my first flight of the day,thinking "I'm gonna get some back". Shortly, I notice low dots over my HQ and turn to investigate what looks like a fighter attacking a BUFF. I soon see a smoke trail going down. I continue on to further investigate.
It was apparent that a lone Lanc had decided to pork our HQ and managed to defend itself against at least one defender. In the process the Lanc got pretty shot up. I dive to make my attack on the Lanc. When I get to about d2.5 I see the Lanc vanish and a chute appear.
For some reason this really got my goat, I was uncaring to that fact that this plane could be no more than Swiss cheese by this point. So next, I attempt to ruin this guys flight further by shooting his chute. My in-aptitude prevented me from doing this, on two consecutive passes. This made me even madder.
My only option left was make the "Dweeb Call" on the open channel.
To make this story shorter, the guy fessed up and also resented me calling him/her a dweeb. However, I chose to be unrelenting and continued to vent my anger. I went on to explain in great detail why I thought he/she had made a "Dweeb Move" and therefore was a "Dweeb".
In the end, we parted communication quietly as it all had started. Him/her probably thinking "Merciless jerk amazinhunk, one thing I really $%#@$% hate about this @#$^^%$ game" and me thinking "Score potato dweeb jerk amazinhunk quakebaby".
I still don't know why, but it seemed my 15,000 frustrations came out of me on this person. I was was going to make someone
"else" pay. Sadly this was nor has been the only one for me most recently.
I had to realize that this player sitting at his computer somewhere. Just like me was probably feeling the same frustrations and the need to "get back some" that I did.
For the record:I'm not making any fancy apologies. However; if I had those occurrences to do over, I would not do them the same way.
In the future I am going to learn a little "On-line Mercy" which I now seem to be devoid of.
Salute!
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Mino
The Wrecking Crew
"Anyway, more golf..."
Humble
