Notes From an AHer Who Knows...

[Dowding]

I don't think the US 'conquers' anymore, but your assertion involved the world 'never'. That is patently untrue. That's why I replied with my vague recollection.

[Syzygyone]

LOL!
Point Taken!
I'll never say never again.

[Dowding]

James Bond had the right idea.

And my name isn't Charon.

[StSanta]

Since Syzygone forgot to mention the Danish contribution I am now convinced he is anti-Danish, and therefore I am entitled to attacking his person and Americans in general, since those that aren't with us are against us.

Since no one dares go against the back padding patriot Americans who without scrutiny accept any praise or hint of praise that comes their way (as long as there isn't a single word that possibly can be interpreted as veiled criticism) I shall take it upon myself to once again defend Truth, Freedom, And The Way Things REALLY Are.

Since Blitz or crabofix haven't stepped up to the plate, and since I've become FAR too nice and pro-American lately, I must do something. Add to that the fact that the likes of Toad, Ripsnort, Hangtime and others have affected (or perverted) my political (and other) views over the years and I feel I have no choice but to, at least for the moment, regress into an earlier state of blisfull anti-Americanism coupled with a few pints of Concentrated stunninghunk. I shall not even bother with smileys or caveats suggesting the following is just humour or a result of insomnia caused by American dive bombers or the like; such is my wrath and fury.

Come to think of it, maybe I better add a a word or two: in case of someone suffering from humor deficient disorder, the following is not to be considered a serious post. Any slights that result from reading it is solely the result of the reader having no sense of sarcasm, no backbone and no skin on the nose. In other words; NOT MY FAULT. Said in another way; Syzygone should not take more than the majority of what is said seriously. Or maybe all or nothing. I'll decide later, depending on whether Syria falls or not.

Tremble, American heathens, for I shall begin the dissection.

Not many of you know who I am. I'm a husband of 26 years, a father of two sons, a red, white and blue American, an Assistant U.S. Attorney, and a hard core Ronald Regan, George Bush (both) republican.

I shall do my utmost not to hold this against you. I gather any man can be foolish enough to marry, yet to endure 26 years is beyond folly. Therefore, I have to at least judge you a little by this. That you then made two more mistakes and actually got kids doesn't speak in your favour either; I hope and expect that you at least used a heavy hand in their upbringing. Probably true since you're a red, white and blue American, since this amply describes what a kid looks like after being 'corrected'. And I'll pretend I didn't hear the Raygun name and from now on I've also forgotten that you're a republican.

I used to think being an AUSA was a really serious job, taking people's liberty and money.

Aaah, yes, I fondly remember those times too. It only got better when I realized that it wasn't a serious job, and that I took people's liberty and money for the hell of it. I mean, it's such a kick, holding their feeble destinies in my palm and then forming a fist and feeling them break in my hands.

And it is, sometimes. I know I played no small roll in the the exectuion of Timothy James McVeigh. And, I spent 16 months deployed to Washington D.C. fighting a new kind of legal battle, to root out and eradicate cowards that kill innocents.

Mm, aye, commendable acts indeed. After all, a team of highly trained and educated men armed with bulletproof evidence vs. a white power youngster with a lawyer trying to earn a name. It must have been a delightful series of challenges to be overcome before that kid could be fried.
And also worthy of respect is your donning of the red, white and blue Superhero suit as you use your superhuman Lawyer Skills to swoop down on terrorists as they are about to blow up new York with kryptonite-engraved plutonium. Nothing shall withstand the fury of your righteous mind, no doubt. Especially now that civil rights is infringed on and there are all sorts of things you can label people who don't see things your way.

Yes, those were serious things, but they truly pale in significance to what we have witnessed in the last few months.

If you're referring to that party we went to yesterday, I agree. I didn't know a woman could crush a walnut with her...never mind, you were there.

As I watched the toppleing of the Saddam Hussein statue, televised globally, live from Baghdad this morning, and as I marveled at the technology that allowed us to witness that seminal event in world history, I found myself more taken with the magnificent worth of the American fighting force, and what, with this country's support, it is capable of accomplishing.

Ah yes, no doubt it is impressive to see 21th century technology utterly crush and defeat a relatively poorly trained army whose most advanced armour is of a design that has over 30 years on its back. And, indeed, it is miraculous that the courage of the US men and women allowed them to see and attack in the dark, under massive support from the air, whereas the Iraqis had the choice between staying in their tank and being blown up, driving a pickup truck towards 10 American M1's and being blown up, or being shot by his commanding officer. Most impressive.

All of you have some passing interest in things military or you wouldn't be here. So, I hope all of you can appreciate that we have just witnessed the single greatest military campaign in the history of mankind. To paraphrase Sir Winston, Never before have so many owed so much to so few.

Pleeeeeeease. You're equalling a three week war with an inferior force under near ideal conditions for smart weapons with the Battle For Britain? There are more similarities between Russian crack potato transvestites and Temptation Island participators than there is between the BoB and the Iraqi campaign. Geeh, that wife sure has forced you to watch a lot of chick flicks for you to get so choked up with emotions.

Even more impressive than that fact is the movement and execution of the land assault, accomplished by over 100,000 soldiers and marines, in country, with a loss of just over 100 brave heros. Supplied only with what they could carry, the land forces moved 350 miles, on three axis, in three weeks, through rain and sand storms and heat and through the most heinous ambush perfidy. And, they did it without destroying any more of the infrastructure than absolutely necessary.

Hm, this IS impressive. Unfortunately. I cannot think of anything negative to say about this. Let me sleep on it and I'll edit the post tomorrow. I am sure there is something; I'll just have to ask the Iraqi Information Minister. What's the number for the Russian Embassy in Syria, anyone?



I am reminded of Shakespear's admonition in Henry V, where those abed in England would hold their manhood cheap, that they were not with him and his band of brothers, those happy few, who fought at Agincourt on St. Cripans day.

Ah, first only 100 outta a couple of hundred thousand dies, and then a glorification of war, courtesy of Shakespeare? Ah, yes, war is a gloriful thing indeed. Unless you happen to be a civilian. Or a soldier with a gut wound trying to prevent his or her intestines from hitting the ground. Very tactful.

Constitution have created a social system, unsurpassed in the anals of man.

Yes yes, Americans invented freedom and democracy; it is said, therefore it is true. Next.


With all our warts and scandals, this is still the greatest society history has ever known. Be grateful to God..

Depends on by what criterion you measure greatness. Some have the NERVE to suggest that pure military might is not the only way of defining greatness. Of course, they quickly shut up once one ram a leather boot down their throats. And the god bit I never understood, so I decided to snip there. I agree that you have warts and scandals and some unmentionable things at other places on your collective body.

God Bless America and those who stand on her ramparts and say "Not on my watch!"

Look, this is what I mean about not understanding the god bit. Why not let god bless the world instead? Would be a nicer place alltogether, and then US soldiers wouldn't have to defend freedom and be great heroes. And Shakespeare wouldn't have needed to write slanderous faerie tales about Danish princes! Or glorify war! Yes, yes, I see it now. It's all a conspiracy against Danes. Oh, dear Sir, I have uncovered your thinly hidden plot!

As I say to my children as they go about thier lives, Go! Do Great Things!

Yes, and then chastize them when they fail to do great things. Let them lament in their shame as they fail to live up to your expectations. Let them suffer for not allowing you to live out your dreams through them, just because you dinnae have the guts to make it. Yeah, great idea, Imperialist Yankee pigdog! We Danes are onto you, you know. We discovered your stinky little country once, I am sure that sooner or later we'll locate it again! Just wait.

Ah, I feel much better now. With a wee bit of luck this will cause as much excitement as the crossbuster incident a few years back. That would mean I wouldn't need to feel bad about agreeing with Americans for two years.

Bliss!



Did I go to far? Did I? Please say I did, or I am truly growing old.

[Syzygyone]

ROFLMAO!

Great post!  You obviosuly have put a lot of thought into it and I can't wait to see the edits.  But you are wrong about one thing.  I love Danish!.  In fact,  we American's eat Danish for breakfast!  Sometimes with a latte.  Cheese is my personal favorite although I think my rambunctious offspring sometimes go for the blueberry but only because I wasn't a good parent!

As for figuring out where our country is, are you saying Danish vikings discovered North America? Wasn't it those pesky Norsemen?

Best of Luck to you Santa!

[Maverick]

Originally posted by Syzygyone
ROFLMAO!

Great post!  You obviosuly have put a lot of thought into it and I can't wait to see the edits.  But you are wrong about one thing.  I love Danish!.  In fact,  we American's eat Danish for breakfast! Best of Luck to you Santa!

Thgis brings to mind a VERY nasty visual image!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:

Go wash out your mouth!!!!!!!! You have NO idea where santa has been!!!!!!!:eek:

[StSanta]

Heheh syszgy; that is exactly what I am talking about! Now you've made us into something not human! Something to be consumed by the American greed and hunger!

I am not falling for it, however.

I was told this with regards to American losses from a famous information minister.

'Americans are killing themselves. Even as we speak they have surrounded us so they are now surrounded. Their blood is spilled on the already red sand and they have not enough shovels to bury their dead, so many are they. Never mind that they'd need people to use the shovels, which they haven't, since we killed them all. And most of them that we didn't killed by righteous wrath commited suicide on a wall or a bench in Baghad. There are no US troops there, just mercenaries who are being slaughtered by two twins of death, glory to Saddam. god is great and spills the blood of the infidels on my porch so it waters the flowers of fighting occupation. Do not report the lies of the Americans - TOMORROW I will take you to see the mass graves - IN AN HOUR. We killed 32 tanks and the men inside are now broke. All at once. It is going according to plan I am sure. Otherwise Saddam would have contacted me, which he hasn't. So US has lost 3421 and a half man. And lots of women fell for Saddam in his Love Shack. Which is not Love Shack but museum of 60's and role playing room - why else have hero Saddam with Dragon Lord?

You are stupid American ignorants - when we did math and writings on great letters you sat in caves yes. Therefore, we win win this war of agression against the peace loving Iraqi people. I mean, YOU will lose it. Since we don't fight a war against the peace loving Iraqi people. You see, they love Saddam. Now I hear more American bombers falling to their deaths? Can you hear it? NO NO NO NO those are NOT bombs! Stop being instrument of stupid Bush. Those are AMERICAN PLANES crashing into mosques filled with children and women ELDERLY CHILDREN and women.'

I must go now, as I prepare speech for victory. Also, I forgot to lock door at house.'

There's yer edit syz . He had to lock his door for some reason (despite claiming that there was no reason to do so coz baghdad was under control and order was 'as always restored') so I dinnae get definite number of Coalition numbers. He did say this though: 'many! More than you can count on one hand. Or two. Even if you use feet as hand, there are many. Now I go, stop telling LIES you filthy dog; I hit you with shoe on face of statue'.

Oh the Norwegian did it sure. But they were occupied by Denmark and Sweden all the time, so we take credit for anything they work out. It's only fair. I mean, people in the US EAT Danish'es, so why can't we abuse Norwegians?

Maverick; *I* know exactly where I have been. Ask yer wife/gf/lover; they'll know part of it too

PTTFFFFH

[midnight Target]

OMG!

I've unleashed a monster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



(Welcome to the O-club Syz)

[Furball]

bored of all this american patriotism

If I should die, think only this of me:
That there's some corner of a foreign field
That is for ever England. There shall be
In that rich earth a richer dust concealed;
A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware,
Gave, once, her flowers to love, her ways to roam,
A body of England's, breathing English air,
Washed by the rivers, blest by suns of home.

And think, this heart, all evil shed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given;
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,
In hearts at peace, under an English heaven.

[Syzygyone]

Yes, England too should be proud of what she has forsaken for the cause of liberation.

[StSanta]

And STILL no mentioning of the Danes. Syz, I got the hint the first time, you anti-Scandinavian cannibalistic scoundrel

Ingratitude from the simplistic sons of pigdogs residing in the US is all the REALFWL (REAL Free World Leader) nation gets

[Syzygyone]

Danes?.... Danes?....
Oh yeah, those great big dogs,  Yeah, those are cool!
Anything else I can do for you Santa?

[Syzygyone]

GlobalSecurity.org has the following listing in the Operation Iraqi Freedom Order of Battle:

U/I element, Danish Special Forces  100

That given, I salute the Danish for standing with the leaders of the free world!

There!  Happy now?

Pass the cheese danish please!

[Maverick]

Originally posted by StSanta

Maverick; *I* know exactly where I have been. Ask yer wife/gf/lover; they'll know part of it too

PTTFFFFH

You know I did get curious and ask her about it. She said she recalled some short dude wearing a hat with cow horns sticking out of it. He had on a trench coat and when he opened it she told him she didn't need any thimbles at this time.

[Hangtime]

not to worry, santa.

imho, yer a better american than yah are a european.