Author Topic: The Thermodynamics of Hell  (Read 352 times)

Offline Saurdaukar

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The Thermodynamics of Hell
« on: May 06, 2003, 01:51:07 PM »
Not much for forwards that arrive via the "corporate underground" but I got a kick out of this one.  ;)


THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL ..... !!
   
 The following is an actual question given on a University of
 Washington chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so  "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the  Internet, which is of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
 
 Bonus Question:
 
 Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
 
 Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
 
 First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
 
 This gives two possibilities:
 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
 
 2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase  of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until  Hell freezes over. So which is it?
 
 If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I still have not  succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
 
 This student received the only "A" given.

Offline Mickey1992

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Offline SLO

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The Thermodynamics of Hell
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2003, 02:37:28 PM »
:D

Offline gofaster

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The Thermodynamics of Hell
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2003, 02:38:16 PM »
Nice story.  Good way to liven up an afternoon.  I believe the US version came first, as the name "Teresa Banyan" is decidedly not Hispanic in origin.

Offline Mickey1992

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The Thermodynamics of Hell
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2003, 02:44:58 PM »
I simply did a Google search for "Teresa Banyan" and found the Spanish translation.  It must be a good joke for someone to take the time to translate it.  :D

Actually, the original joke that I saw many years ago did not include the paragraph about Teresa Banyan.  It is much funnier with it.

Offline Syzygyone

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