S!
This is a message from the really important people in ACES HIGH to the management. It is really important that the management does exactly what I say here so everything gets to be more fun.
HTC has been adding new stuff into the game which is making it way too complex and nitpicky. This prevents fun guys like me from really enjoying themselves.
By the way: These ideas for `fun` are the only one you should pay attention to. Anybody else who says anything different is totally lame and dweeby should be immediately banished or eliminated.
Ok, this is the way to have `Fun`:
> A bunch of guys take off from bases which are nice and close, then they climb up to 500 feet or so fly towards the other base and then they get into a really big furball. This is excellent fun. The bases should be the same height so nobody has to climb too much.
This is sooooooo simple. How could anybody not clue in?
Anything which messes up this is `NO FUN`.
All this stuff is `NO FUN`:
1. Bomber dweebs
(a) Bombers have bombs. They drop them and blow up airfields. Sometimes they blow them up good enough that some other dweeb comes in and captures them with a C-47. (Who`d wanna fly a C-47 anyway, that`s so lame) This is a major bummer. It means you gotta spend more time flying from another base way far from the furball. This is very annoying. No way this is fun.
(b) All of these Bomber dweebs fly at 20,000 feet. Have you ever climbed up to 20,000 ft? Man it takes forever. It is very annoying to have to climb to 20,000 feet to shoot down a bomber. Again, no way this is fun.
(c) Once you get up to that alt, the Bomber dweebs shoot back. This is very annoying. Especially not fun is when they shoot you down. Totally mondo extremo `not fun`.
2. Suicide Jabos.
(a) CV`s are like Airfields. Nobody should be messing with them. They should be left alone. No dweebs should be allowed to bomb them. When some dweeb bombs them they sink. This is way cool to look at when it goes up on end, but actually uncool in another way. This is cause you can`t take off from the cruiser then. So how are ya gonna get to the furball?!! Extra lame man. Suicide Jabos which bomb CV`s should be made to fly C-47`s at 500 feet for a week. (Now that would really be not fun...
)
(b) These lame-o Suicide Jabo dweebs fly in at 10 or 15,000 feet. Man that`s way useless trying to climb up there! Like I said before, climbing is totally not fun. Suicide Jabos which make their attacks from 500 feet are ok. I think those guys have the right idea for sure. They are fun.
I think Suicide jabos which fly at 500 feet should have a label on their nametag. It should say: `Fun bomber guy`. These guys are almost not dweeby even though they have bombs which is definitely dweeby.
Alt. Monkeys.
(a) Alt. Monkeys are like some kind of intellectual types or something. For sure they need to loosen up. I think they are trying to take advantage of guys like me. Sure I have a short attention span, that`s cause I`m trying to have fun! Those Alt monkeys sneak in way high and wait for normal guys like me to take their eyes off them for a moment. Then they dive down. It like the next thing you know there`s some guy in a Runstang flaming your butt. This sucks big time. This is not fun. Especially it sucks and is not fun is when they do this in teams. That is totally dweeby. I mean they actually spend time talking about what they are gonna do. Are they here to have fun or are they here to do some master plan lame-o team thing???
(b) You can tell the real Alt. Monkeys right away. They always zoom up again, so even if they didn`t get you the first time, you know their cheezy act is gonna happen again. It like so boring. They won`t even let you shoot them. I mean what do they think I`m here for? Man this is no fun at all.
3. Flak
(a) Why did they even put flak in here? I mean you`re like just flying along and then it starts shooting at you. Next thing your wings fall off. That sucks. Flak is no fun. Like when I`m right over a field and I spot some guy taking off and I`m gonna get a perfect vulch and then this lame-o flak hits me. Bummer. No way Flak should be able to kill ordinary fun guys flying below 3,000 feet.
(b) NOW I have a mondo plan for flak
: This is it: Flak kills any bomber dweebs flying over 3,000 feet. Ditto with `Alt Monkeys`. This is a way cool use for flak. After the flak kills the alt monkeys and bombers, it should also kill their chutes. (unless there is a fun guy nearby who could also kill the chutes)
There are lots of other rules for having fun which I can`t remember now but which I will let you know about later.
Ok?
