Employee's revenge at Work

[GrimCO]

Anyone have any funny stories about revenge at work or something similar?

Here's one for ya from when I was a police officer...

I responded to a "vandalism" call at a food distribution warehouse...  I spoke to the complainant who told me that he had just fired an employee a few hours before, and that the employee had exacted revenge. When I asked how, he refused to tell me. He said he had to "show" me.

I followed him to his office and when we walked through the door, I smelled the distinct odor of feces.

Apparently, the disgruntled ex-employee had climbed on top of his boss's desk and and took a dump all over it. Judging from the somewhat less than solid texture of the fecal matter, I'd say the guy either had a stomach virus or went to the trouble of downing a pint or two of ExLax prior to doing the deed.

At any rate the boss was livid and demanded I do something about it. Since no one actually witnessed the devious dumper in action, I could do nothing. It was the perfect crime.

[scout]

Couldn't you've scooped up a sample and done a DNA test?

[Syzygyone]

My wife is an administrative type a a very large highschool.  Recently, a teacher who had been informed of a decsion to not be retained the next year, apparently got even by failing to turn in ANY GRADES for ANY OF THE FIVE CLASSES that teacher taught.  No grade book, no records of any kind, just cleaned out the office and disappeared.

Put about 150 highschool kids in a real lurch!  Real jerk!

[Ripsnort]

In Tooling, this guy had his icecream in the community fridge...someone on 2nd shift was heisting his icecream now and then, so he put a big sign on his bucket of icecream saying "Private property, keep out".  Someone took that bucket on 2nd shift and crapped in it, placed it back into the freezer.  Needless to say, the icecream "type" was rocky road...I ****t you not.

Funny, but I never felt comfortable knowing that someone I did not know but worked with..was crapping in icecream.... Kinda scarey, really...

[loser]

Every single day I do a "walkaround" of my car before i leave work.  

More than once a week a fellow employee drives away from work with a sign on their car that advertises love for sheep, llamas, little boys etc.

I think the best time was when one of the guys showed up the NEXT DAY with one such sign still affixed to his front bumper.

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by loser
Every single day I do a "walkaround" of my car before i leave work.  

More than once a week a fellow employee drives away from work with a sign on their car that advertises love for sheep, llamas, little boys etc.

I think the best time was when one of the guys showed up the NEXT DAY with one such sign still affixed to his front bumper.

That was a common occurance in the tooling shop I worked in, we had these little electric carts for hauling stuff around...walk arounds were mandantory on these carts prior to traveling around the plant.  We used to love the new guys..."Here, go pick up some material over at such and such place...no, I insist, go ahead, enjoy the drive!"

[Pongo]

Well there was the platoon comander that walked arround in nice gore tex danner boots but when one of the troops pulled out the exact same boots told the troops that they were not allowed to wear them.
I was his driver for that excercise and some how one of the boots disappeared of the back of our jeep. He told me to go find the boot and not to come back without it. So I drove into camp(30 miles) had a burger and bought some stuff at the PX, called home and then drove back to dissappoint him.

He asked me to make him coffee once. I heated it up so much in the alumninum canteen mug that it burnt his hands right through the handle. (think he would be suspicios when I was wearing my combat gloves and liners when I handed it to him.)

There were all the times that I let him get lost.

I just about managed to get him beat up by the troops a few times. But cooler heads prevailed.

We pullled up to an O-group once and some poor sap was digging a shell scrape beside his vehicle. Platoon comander told me imediatly that I had to dig a shell scrape beside our verhicle. I had been up for a day or so and was not too happy about this. But I dug it, right beside his door of the jeep and cammed it really well and piled the dirt on my side of the jeep. 2 hours later when he walked up to the jeep in the dark saw the pile of dirt on my side. Told me I had 2 minutes to fill it in and he wanted it deeper next time. And then walked arround his side of the jeep and fell into the hole. Never occured  to me to take a dump in it..but in hind sight....

As a software consultant I dont get to interact with such interesting people as I met in the infantry.

[Dowding]

I remember the story of the lover's tiff on the shop floor that ended with a guy taking this girl's purse from her hand-bag and adding a little surprise before returning it to the bag.

She goes to the canteen with her bag, removes the purse and opens it... to find a shiny new turd nestling amongst the coins.

[Sikboy]

http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/mass/neptune/index_1.html?sect=19


Not at all funny, but I just happened to be reading this in another window.

-Sik

[Ripsnort]

Originally posted by Sikboy
http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/mass/neptune/index_1.html?sect=19


Not at all funny, but I just happened to be reading this in another window.

-Sik

Some very disturbing stories in there.

[capt. apathy]

back when I first started out I worked at the shipyard in portland.  I was concidered by some to be the king of getting even.

here's a few of my favorites.

one guy kept stealing my ventilation hose (12" plastic tube) that brings fresh air into the tank you're working in.  anyway he kept moving into his area to keep him cool, meenwhile me and the guys I worked with had no clean air to breath.  I cut a couple slits in the hose and dumped a full bottle of blue marking chalk (for a chalk line) into the tube.  it looked like a 10' long blue torpedo as it sped through the line.  he was blue'ish for a couple weeks.

another guy had been giving me some crap for a couple weeks.  so one day on the way back from lunch I gathered all the left over fries from the guys I ate lunch with, tore them up small and dumped them on the roof of his car as I walked by.  every seagul in portland landed on his car for a fry and a crap.  at the end of the day there was no evedence just a new grey green paintjob

[Ripsnort]

Grim, sounds like that employer needs one of these:

[Curval]

I'm going to use this thread as a way to figure out how to get back at someone at the office.

About 8 months ago I was working late.  I was standing beside the printer waiting for some reports to print when our student auditor walked past.  She is a great girl and organises all of the fun stuff at the office..parties, boating trips, bowling nights etc etc.

Anyway, as she walked past me she playfully poked me in the side.  Unbeknownst to her I was in the process of letting go with a silent stalker...there were a couple of others in the office and I wanted the fart to be quiet.  But, when she poked me in the side I clenched...my silent stalker turned into a...umm...rather loud exhibitionist.  

There was absolutely no-one else to blame and no way to disguise what had just happened.  The girl burst into hysterics and was still laughing when I left the office about a half hour later.  She was on her way out too...to a get together with all the girls in our audit department.

She was still laughing when she arrived at the gathering, immediately prompting the question "What is so funny?"  She told them....the little  &^$%$^%^%#^%.

At the office Christmas party my secret Santa present was a can of baked beans, a roll of toilet paper, a scented candle and a can of air freshener.  This prompted a whole pile of "What is the significance of those gifts?" questions.  Needless to say everyone was then informed of my accidental flatulence.

SO....how do I get her back?  It can't be cruel or disgusting in any way.  It needs to be subtle, clever and something that makes me look good, not an prettythanghole.

Please advise.

[GrimCO]

Got my brother in law pretty good at work one day.

We were developing a new digital amplifier for car-audio. He was the accountant of our fledgeling company, but would come to the back of the shop nearly every day and make it his business to "test" the amplifiers. We really couldn't say anything because we were all partners in the venture. At any rate, he wound up destroying half of our prototype amplifiers by running them under excessive loads. Each of these amps was hand built by me, and took me about two days each to build. The engineer was also pissed at him, so we decided to "cure" him of his evil ways.

I took a soda can and filled it halfway to the top with Triple F blackpowder rifle gunpowder. I then took a thin piece of copper wire and shorted out an extension cord with it, and placed the wire inside of the can. I stuck the can against the wall under the test bench which consisted of a 4x8 sheet of plywood on top of 2 55 gallon steel drums.

As usual, my brother in law sauntered to the back of the shop, sat in a rolling chair, and commenced destroying the amplifiers in puffs of smoke. Another employee who was completely unaware of the prank came back to use the bathroom. I said "Hey John, would you mind plugging that extension cord in for me?" He says "sure", squats down, and plugs the thing in.

BEHOLD THE FIRE AND SMOKE COMETH! Flames about 8 feet high start shooting up from the concrete wall behind the test bench, along with an ungodly amount of smoke. My brother in law, thinking he was the cause of the conflagration starts pulling every wire he can find to stop the hell he thinks he created. This lasted about two seconds until he completely disappeared in the cloud of smoke. His will to stop the fire succombed to his survival instincts and he decided to abandon ship. He emerged from the smoke peddling backwards in that rolling chair as fast as he could, arms and legs flailing.

The guy who plugged the extension cord in, then made the profound statement: "Hey, something blew up".

After he saw us laughing, he realized he'd been had and starting chasing me around the shop yelling explatives. To this day I can't bring that incident up without him suddenly deciding to kill me.

But he didn't mess around in the back of the shop anymore, and the company has become a great success.

[JB73]

Originally posted by Curval
I'm going to use this thread as a way to figure out how to get back at someone at the office.

About 8 months ago I was working late.  I was standing beside the printer waiting for some reports to print when our student auditor walked past.  She is a great girl and organises all of the fun stuff at the office..parties, boating trips, bowling nights etc etc.

Anyway, as she walked past me she playfully poked me in the side.  Unbeknownst to her I was in the process of letting go with a silent stalker...there were a couple of others in the office and I wanted the fart to be quiet.  But, when she poked me in the side I clenched...my silent stalker turned into a...umm...rather loud exhibitionist.  

There was absolutely no-one else to blame and no way to disguise what had just happened.  The girl burst into hysterics and was still laughing when I left the office about a half hour later.  She was on her way out too...to a get together with all the girls in our audit department.

She was still laughing when she arrived at the gathering, immediately prompting the question "What is so funny?"  She told them....the little  &^$%$^%^%#^%.

At the office Christmas party my secret Santa present was a can of baked beans, a roll of toilet paper, a scented candle and a can of air freshener.  This prompted a whole pile of "What is the significance of those gifts?" questions.  Needless to say everyone was then informed of my accidental flatulence.

SO....how do I get her back?  It can't be cruel or disgusting in any way.  It needs to be subtle, clever and something that makes me look good, not an prettythanghole.

Please advise.

is this story on the up and up .... not a idea for a sitcom episode???

if so you are bumming.... quit that job... you will NEVER live it down. (unless you get some poor schmuck to actually crap his pants @ work.. maybe maybe then they will forget about you)