LOL, we had to get towed in by the coast guard when we were out on Yaquina bay in Newport, OR. My friend, who actually did take the time to learn what he needed to, took me and another friend out on his boat for some crabbing/fishing in the bay. Just about the time we were ready to head back in to the dock, his engine dies. It tries to start, but just sputters and dies. After a half hour of fiddling and getting nowhere we finally flag someone down who's got a cell phone and they call the coast guard for us.
Out they come in a Zodiac, a seasoned vet and a rookie. After assessing the situation, vet has the rookie hook the front eye on the boat. It takes the rook about 10 tries and five minutes to do it, all the while the vet is giving him nonstop sh*t in front of us land lubbers.

Then, the fun part - the tow. I think it must have been close to dinner time or something, because Vet was in a hurry...he towed the boat as fast or faster than the thing can go under its own power. And that would have been fun, except for our fresh sunburns (three white guys and some ineffective sunblock) and the fact that we were getting sweetheartd with salt water that was constantly splashing up over the bow. When we finally got to the dock and he unhooked us, the vet gave us one look (we were drenched) and with a quick smirk said "we weren't going too fast for ya, were we?". After a quick inspection for any possible violations we were on our way. Turned out to be the power cable to the engine was corroded and finally snapped.
The moral of the story? Don't spend time reading my posts...as there's generally no point to them.

SOB