Author Topic: Thoughts on America  (Read 1032 times)

Offline Ripsnort

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Thoughts on America
« Reply #15 on: July 03, 2003, 11:00:47 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
I hate no one....

Sorry you missed the point of my post. Maybe you need to take that California High School exit exam.


:p


No , you ASSUMED I missed it.  And you know how to spell assume ;)

Offline WestyAH

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« Reply #16 on: July 03, 2003, 11:01:59 AM »
"America should be a bad-ass cowboy and gun down anyone who gets in our way! .."


 I hear an old story still told in some parts that America was so mean it once nuked a country just  for snoring!

Offline Krusher

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« Reply #17 on: July 03, 2003, 12:18:29 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by WestyAH
"America should be a bad-ass cowboy and gun down anyone who gets in our way! .."


 I hear an old story still told in some parts that America was so mean it once nuked a country just  for snoring!


Welcome back westy !

Offline Wlfgng

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« Reply #18 on: July 03, 2003, 12:34:47 PM »
no.. "it was just to watch them die"....

yep, time to stop all the PC crap and tell it like it is.

Offline Montezuma

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Re: Thoughts on America
« Reply #19 on: July 03, 2003, 12:42:32 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by funkedup
Once we have the whole Earth speaking one language everyone can understand, united under America's thumb, we'll finally have world peace.


Won't that be expensive?

Offline Mike_2851

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« Reply #20 on: July 03, 2003, 12:46:14 PM »
This seemed like the right time and thread for this one. I got from a "squaddie" of mine. You might have seen it before but.........

Subject: Peace plan
It could work! Gotta love Robin Williams!
Robin Williams' Peace Plan

Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan...
what we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of
a plan for peace.

So, here's one plan:

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in
their affairs, past & present. We will promise never to "interfere"
again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting
with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking through holes in
the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together
and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the
remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 day visits unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself, don't hide here. Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers.

5) No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If
they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home, baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient
energy wise. This will include developing non polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a
barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else.

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the
world, we will not "interfere". They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets "lost" or is taken by their army. The people who need it most get very little, anyway.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don't
need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

9b) Use the buildings as replacement for the twin towers.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way,
no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

Now, ain't that a winner of a plan.

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'"

- Robin Williams

Offline Scootter

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Thoughts on America
« Reply #21 on: July 03, 2003, 12:51:10 PM »
I think Skuzzy will say somthing like this


"No point to this thread, other than to create anger and beg attention. Trollers are not welcome here"

I just wanted to get in a-fore he do.

Offline Sandman

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« Reply #22 on: July 03, 2003, 01:50:04 PM »
Quote
As the world's sheriff, two things we ought to do right off the bat is make English the universal language and institute a single currency -- the almighty dollar. That silly Euro is the goofiest idea they ever came up with.



No kidding... a union of independent states using the same currency... what lunacy!
sand

Offline funkedup

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« Reply #23 on: July 03, 2003, 01:55:03 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Scootter
I think Skuzzy will say somthing like this


"No point to this thread, other than to create anger and beg attention. Trollers are not welcome here"

I just wanted to get in a-fore he do.


I guess it's an inside joke.  What I posted was a column by Ed Anger, which is a pseudonym for a female writer who writes satires of angry old man columns for a joke-tabloid called the Weekly World News.  It's supposed to be funny, not create anger etc.

Offline Holden McGroin

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« Reply #24 on: July 03, 2003, 02:30:31 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Cabby44
Quote:

Carter is still a dork and was a dismal failure as a President.   But he's nice to children and pets....

Cabby


Carter killed a small rabbit who was innocently swimming in a pond.  Jimmy claimed it was self defence.
Holden McGroin LLC makes every effort to provide accurate and complete information. Since humor, irony, and keen insight may be foreign to some readers, no warranty, expressed or implied is offered. Re-writing this disclaimer cost me big bucks at the lawyer’s office!

Offline MrCoffee

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« Reply #25 on: July 03, 2003, 02:42:43 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Sandman_SBM
It's "renowned" not "renouned".


:D


I got past California high school before the exit exam. :)




Yes, but shouldnt it really  be reknowned now. Just guessing.
« Last Edit: July 03, 2003, 02:44:46 PM by MrCoffee »

Offline midnight Target

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« Reply #26 on: July 03, 2003, 02:49:41 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Sandman_SBM
No kidding... a union of independent states using the same currency... what lunacy!


Too hip for the room.

Offline midnight Target

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« Reply #27 on: July 03, 2003, 03:43:15 PM »
Your Text, Dialectized (redneck)

South Car'lina sh'd be a bad-ass cowfella an' gun down ennyone who gits in our way! Fry mah hide! ah's madder than Roy Rogers wif a bested git-fiddle at all these filthy fo'eigners whinin' about how South Car'linans is a bunch of "cowfellas." These yahoos reckon we is th' bad guys an' thet th' real problem in th' wo'ld today is "South Car'linan imperialism" -- not thet nutcase Saddam havin' inough anthrax an' nerve gas t'wipe out th' hoomin race 10 times on over. Wal, folks, ah say it's high time fo' Uncle Zephaniah to proudly tell th' wo'ld he is a cowfella. A bad-ass cowfella who's not afraid t'shoot fust an' ax quesshuns af'erward is exackly whut th' wo'ld needs right now t'git rid of tough hombres like Saddam an' all them murderin' terro'ist thugs. Less come right out an' say thar's a noo sheriff in town, buckaroos. An' ah's not talkin' about a squeaky-clean lawman like th' Lone Ranger who used t'shoot th' guns outta bad guys' han's wif a silvah bullet. ah mean a modern-day Clint Eastwood-type cowfella who growls, "Make mah day" befo'e pumpin' six shots into some creep's back. Shet mah mouth! Or remember Walkin' Tall, whar thet tough sheriff Bufo'd Pusser kepp moonshine-makin' hillbillies in line wif his tresty 2 by 4? Wal, Uncle Zephaniah oughta does th' same thin' -- only instead of whackin' haids wif a trimenjus stick, clobber sense into them wif a nucular missile. ah mean it, gang, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! Fum now on, enny of these fool countries step outta line, we shove th' mos' trimenjus nuke in our arsenal right up its old wazoo. It's no mo'e Mr. Nice Guy. Nice guys finish last -- jest ax Jimmah Carter. So less lop out this hyar malarky about beggin' th' U.N. on our han's an' knees like some Third Wo'ld dump befo'e a-gonna war. Next time, jest bomb th' hell outta th' possums an' git it on over wif. We is the dawgoned-est pow'ful nashun on Earth an' we ought t'ack like it, by jiminy. ah say, less shove peace down th' throats of these fo'eign rascals -- no matter how menny varmints we hafta kill t'do it. When Ancient Rome was th' baddess dude on th' block, thar was peace in Europe fo' hundreds of years. An' th' empero's didn't maintain o'der by wimpy "nashun buildin'." Whuffo', effluff'n a country like Carthage acked up, they'd defeat it, raze ev'ry buildin' t'th' groun' -- then sow salt into th' soil, ah reckon. Th' ress of th' wo'ld got th' pitcher mighty quick an' fell right into line. As th' wo'ld's sheriff, two thin's we ought t'do right off th' bat is make English th' unyversal language an' insteetoote a sin'le currency -- th' almighty dollar. Thet silly Euro is th' goofiess idea they evah came up wif. Once we haf th' whole Earth speakin' one language ev'ryone kin unnerstan', united unner South Car'lina's thoomb, we'll finally haf wo'ld peace.


Dialectizer (Thanks Arlo)

Offline Apache

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Thoughts on America
« Reply #28 on: July 03, 2003, 03:53:20 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
Your Text, Dialectized (redneck)

South Car'lina sh'd be a bad-ass cowfella an' gun down ennyone who gits in our way! Fry mah hide! ah's madder than Roy Rogers wif a bested git-fiddle at all these filthy fo'eigners whinin' about how South Car'linans is a bunch of "cowfellas." These yahoos reckon we is th' bad guys an' thet th' real problem in th' wo'ld today is "South Car'linan imperialism" -- not thet nutcase Saddam havin' inough anthrax an' nerve gas t'wipe out th' hoomin race 10 times on over. Wal, folks, ah say it's high time fo' Uncle Zephaniah to proudly tell th' wo'ld he is a cowfella. A bad-ass cowfella who's not afraid t'shoot fust an' ax quesshuns af'erward is exackly whut th' wo'ld needs right now t'git rid of tough hombres like Saddam an' all them murderin' terro'ist thugs. Less come right out an' say thar's a noo sheriff in town, buckaroos. An' ah's not talkin' about a squeaky-clean lawman like th' Lone Ranger who used t'shoot th' guns outta bad guys' han's wif a silvah bullet. ah mean a modern-day Clint Eastwood-type cowfella who growls, "Make mah day" befo'e pumpin' six shots into some creep's back. Shet mah mouth! Or remember Walkin' Tall, whar thet tough sheriff Bufo'd Pusser kepp moonshine-makin' hillbillies in line wif his tresty 2 by 4? Wal, Uncle Zephaniah oughta does th' same thin' -- only instead of whackin' haids wif a trimenjus stick, clobber sense into them wif a nucular missile. ah mean it, gang, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! Fum now on, enny of these fool countries step outta line, we shove th' mos' trimenjus nuke in our arsenal right up its old wazoo. It's no mo'e Mr. Nice Guy. Nice guys finish last -- jest ax Jimmah Carter. So less lop out this hyar malarky about beggin' th' U.N. on our han's an' knees like some Third Wo'ld dump befo'e a-gonna war. Next time, jest bomb th' hell outta th' possums an' git it on over wif. We is the dawgoned-est pow'ful nashun on Earth an' we ought t'ack like it, by jiminy. ah say, less shove peace down th' throats of these fo'eign rascals -- no matter how menny varmints we hafta kill t'do it. When Ancient Rome was th' baddess dude on th' block, thar was peace in Europe fo' hundreds of years. An' th' empero's didn't maintain o'der by wimpy "nashun buildin'." Whuffo', effluff'n a country like Carthage acked up, they'd defeat it, raze ev'ry buildin' t'th' groun' -- then sow salt into th' soil, ah reckon. Th' ress of th' wo'ld got th' pitcher mighty quick an' fell right into line. As th' wo'ld's sheriff, two thin's we ought t'do right off th' bat is make English th' unyversal language an' insteetoote a sin'le currency -- th' almighty dollar. Thet silly Euro is th' goofiess idea they evah came up wif. Once we haf th' whole Earth speakin' one language ev'ryone kin unnerstan', united unner South Car'lina's thoomb, we'll finally haf wo'ld peace.


Dialectizer (Thanks Arlo)


Why in tarnation did you pick SC. We shorely don't talk lik at. Dern Californ I A idjit.

Offline Sandman

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Thoughts on America
« Reply #29 on: July 03, 2003, 03:59:57 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by midnight Target
Too hip for the room.


LOL... :D
sand