Johnny Cochrane: Ladies and Gentlemen of this deposed jury, Chef's attorney
would certainly want you to believe his client wrote Stinky Britches ten
years ago, and they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself. But
Ladies and Gentlemen of this deposed jury, I have one final thing I want you
to consider.
[Walks up to a chart stand]
Johnny Cochrane: Ladies and Gentlemen, (Pulls down picture of Chewbacca)
this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wooky from the planet Kishic, but
Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it. That does not make
sense.
Gerald (Whispering): Dammit.
Chef (Whispering): What?
Gerald (Whispering): He's using the Chewbacca defense.
Johnny Cochrane: Why would a Wooky, an eight-foot-tall Wooky, want to live
on Endor with a bunch of two-foot-tall Ewoks. That does not make sense. But
more important, you have to ask yourself what does this have to do with this
case.
[Jury stares in silence]
Johnny Cochrane: Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with
this case.
[Gerald sinks back and covers his eyes]
Johnny Cochrane: It does not make sense. Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending
a major record company and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make
sense? Ladies and Gentlemen I'm am not making any sense. None of this makes
sense. And so you have to remember when you're in that jury room
deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make
sense? No. Ladies and Gentlemen of this deposed jury it does not make sense.
If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit. The defense rests.
