Author Topic: true story military joke for the brits. (Read 469 times)

anonymous · « **on:** July 23, 2003, 01:39:23 AM »

this really happened. there was a US special operations guy who worked with some british special operations guys. he got pretty tight with them and so he was let in on a little inside joke among these certain types of brits. when they had formal dinners with coat and tie an unknowing victim would be given the compliment of 'say guy thats a really nice tie'. now the secret squirrel response to this fake comment is 'thanks mate i got it from your mom she left it along with the rest of her disguise you see she stayed to long and had to jump off the troop ship and swim to shore while land was still less than a mile away'. so the US guy gets out of the military and goes to work as an advisor for a foreign government thats buddy buddy with the US and the UK. hes the first american to get hired for this position. every other guy is from the uk and from the same group where the guy learned the joke. so they have a big 'welcome to your new job yank i cant believe they lowered the bar that much' dinner in his 'honor'. they were really trying to make him feel welcome but he knew they were going to give him some ****. so he walks in in dinner jacket and the worst damn tie he could find on short notices. the youngest brit of course chases the ambush and jumps right in with the attack. 'say bloke thats a really nice tie'. when the proper reply came from the 'yank' and the ambushers jaw hit the carpet, well, that guy was 'in with the brits' from that day onward.

GRUNHERZ · « **Reply #1 on:** July 23, 2003, 01:59:05 AM »

Perhaps I missed something but what happends if he were to answer incorrectly?

anonymous · « **Reply #2 on:** July 23, 2003, 02:01:54 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by GRUNHERZ
Perhaps I missed something but what happends if he were to answer incorrectly?

nothing its more like if he takes the compliment as a real compliment then the jokes on him. kind of something that group of brits do to their new guys until they catch on or get tipped off. so the brit thought he had a sure thing hitting the lone new yank with the joke but just like colonial days our boy was one step ahead of the damn redcoats.

the other brits loved the fact that somehow the guy knew the joke and turned the tables. like the last thing the young brit was expecting was the proper 'secret club response' so the surprise on his face made for a good scene. maybe its something that is better told in person by the guy the story is about because i laughed my butt off when he told it to me and some others.

Furball · « **Reply #3 on:** July 23, 2003, 11:57:39 AM »

that really has to be one of the worst jokes (if you can call it that) i have ever read.

Otto · « **Reply #4 on:** July 23, 2003, 12:40:46 PM »

I can't believe I just read all of that

(I am laughing......, but at myself)

anonymous · « **Reply #5 on:** July 23, 2003, 12:48:42 PM »

ok now im lookin for the cane to come from stage left and yank me away.

sorry dudes all i can say is the story made me and some others bust up when it was told and we werent even that drunk yet. all apologies to the injured and all that.

gofaster · « **Reply #6 on:** July 23, 2003, 01:11:36 PM »

I learn something new everyday.

midnight Target · « **Reply #7 on:** July 23, 2003, 02:33:57 PM »

Dowding · « **Reply #8 on:** July 23, 2003, 02:38:25 PM »

It was a bit of an anti-climax, but don't beat yourself up anonymous

. I was expecting copious drinking as punishment like we used to at the black tie formals I had at uni. I miss those days. It was like landing on another planet coming from where I come from.

anonymous · « **Reply #9 on:** July 23, 2003, 03:50:31 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Dowding
It was a bit of an anti-climax, but don't beat yourself up anonymous . I was expecting copious drinking as punishment like we used to at the black tie formals I had at uni. I miss those days. It was like landing on another planet coming from where I come from.

ok you served with the brits do you kind of get it? best way to explain i think is the guy it happened to when he tells the story its funny as hell. and from my experience with brist or aussies or new zealanders you get punished by drinking even when you dont do anything wrong. we had a joke about that one to. compared it to when han solo comes out of torture chamber in empire strikes back movie and has this look on his face and says in bewildered voice 'they didnt even ask me any questions'. thats what drinking with uk aussia nz guys is like. 'why am i dying from this nasty thick beer why does my piss look like oil slick what did i do to piss these guys off?

Dowding · « **Reply #10 on:** July 23, 2003, 04:45:05 PM »

lol

I wasn't in forces. But the alot of the people were public school types (a couple were from Harrow and for six months I believed one of my friends was a duchess) - they had strange drinking games and rituals which were an eye opener at the time. Not really snobbish though and after four years we were close friends.

I can imagine a forces black tie dinner would involve more expensive alcohol and male bonding via nudity or something.

anonymous · « **Reply #11 on:** July 23, 2003, 06:02:19 PM »

Quote

Originally posted by Dowding
lol I wasn't in forces. But the alot of the people were public school types (a couple were from Harrow and for six months I believed one of my friends was a duchess) - they had strange drinking games and rituals which were an eye opener at the time. Not really snobbish though and after four years we were close friends.

I can imagine a forces black tie dinner would involve more expensive alcohol and male bonding via nudity or something.

the death sentence is with the nz. with the brits or the aussies theres a chance to escape and avoid the 17th consecutive night of pounding motor oil. the problem with us with the boys in nz is that when we go there often its for tracking school. best tracking school in the world is run by the nz sas guys. so now youre down there getting drowned in motor oil beer by the instructors of the best tracking school in the world. no hope of e&e there. just dont light up a cig when youre taking a piss for a couple of weeks after and soak the rest of the pain.

davidpt40 · « **Reply #12 on:** July 23, 2003, 06:33:43 PM »

I used to play this game when I was in a Vietnam prison camp where me and my buddies would take this pistol and put 1 bullet in it and pull the trigger. This little vietnamese bloke would yell at us and make us go sleep in the water-cage if we didnt shoot at each other. But one day me and my buddy got tired of the game so we loaded 3 bullets in the gun and shot the vietnamese and then swam down the river and got picked up by a Huey.