Author Topic: Monday Morning humor (Read 619 times)

Ripsnort · « **on:** September 15, 2003, 07:21:46 AM »

An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer showed up.

"Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked.

"I'm sorry," the American replied, but I really gotta take a leak."

"You can't do that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me."

The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, pretty flowers, and manicured hedges.

"Here," said the policeman, "whiz away."

The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started peeing on the flowers.

"Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning toward the officer, he said,

"This is very nice of you. Is this British courtesy?"

"No," retorted the policeman. "It's the French Embassy."

Dowding · « **Reply #1 on:** September 15, 2003, 07:27:23 AM »

Very good.

Didn't George Michael find himself in a similar situation? And look what happened to that poor guy.

Drunky · « **Reply #2 on:** September 15, 2003, 07:37:25 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Dowding
Very good.

Didn't George Michael find himself in a similar situation? And look what happened to that poor guy.

George Michael wasn't urinating...he was soliciting/proffering/looking for gay sexual sastisfaction.

Gunthr · « **Reply #3 on:** September 15, 2003, 07:55:21 AM »

Dowding, me thinks you doth protest too much

Dowding · « **Reply #4 on:** September 15, 2003, 07:57:35 AM »

Heh.

Ghosth · « **Reply #5 on:** September 15, 2003, 08:00:02 AM »

Heheheh

Serves the french right.

Udie · « **Reply #6 on:** September 15, 2003, 08:15:11 AM »

I see Graham Chapan in the roll of the policeman

Drifter1234 · « **Reply #7 on:** September 15, 2003, 09:49:13 AM »

More Monday Humor

Two hillbillies from Kentucky walk into the local bar to wash the dust from their throats and grab a beer. They stand at the bar drinking beers and talking about current cattle prices. Suddenly a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she's is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swaller?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head. One of the hillbillies walks over to her, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her panties, and runs his tongue all over her butt cheeks in a circular motion. The woman is so shocked, that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbillie walks slowly back to the bar and takes a drink from his beer. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there "Hind Lick" maneuver, but I ain't never seen nobody do it."