Is it my right of free speach to call up judge Edward Nottingham of Denver and offer to sodomize him for $19.95?
However, for a limited time only, I'm running a special and not only will I Sodomize him, but also his familly... wait let's not stop there! I'll sodomize his pets too.
What a fantastic service! Right over the phone too!
No wait there's more!
If he acts now to this limited special offer, that he can only get over the phone through my proprietary telemarketing services, I'll even include a used set of ginzu knifes with genuine plastic-steel(tm) handles, that won't dull, break, or rust for the life time of the owner or until he is fully sodomized.
There is no other offer like this. NO other service can compare!
Wait there's more!
Not only will I sodomize him, his familly, and pets.
I'll also, get this, sodomize any stuffed animals that are in his house.
Wait! It gets even better.
For a limited time only.. yes... this is a deal of a life time...this is the telemarketing deal of the century.
I'll sodomize every monkey in his familly tree - for FREE!