OK, first off, this is Apathy's baseball loving wife, he has no opinion, but I do.
The umpire gave both pitchers a warning, prior to the infamous 4th inning. When Pedro threw at Garcia's head, he should have been ejected from the game immediately. The fiasco that followed on and off for the rest of the game was a SYMPTOM of the bigger problem, that the umpires had lost control of the game and the respect of the players involved. I am an umpire, I have never given a warning and not followed through, it just isn't done.
Regarding the bullpen incident, the Yankee bullpen was out of line and should anticipate criminal charges. To be fair, why was the grounds grew employee in the Yankee pen, and cheering and jeering like he did? The Yankees are also due an apology from the Red Sox Organization, because behavior like that from an employee is not only inappropriate, it's unacceptable.