Author Topic: For the true geeks enjoy (Read 577 times)

AHGOD · « **on:** October 13, 2003, 03:47:45 PM »

http://www.thewavemag.com/printarticle.php?articleid=24184

Saintaw · « **Reply #1 on:** October 13, 2003, 04:37:56 PM »

Quote

7. Star Wars
Public Humiliation: 82.1%
Before the lame-ass new Star Wars movies, we might have let it go if we saw a Lando Calrissian or an Ewok waiting in line for a movie. Not anymore. Anyone disguised as a Jedi in this day and age had better have been helped into that costume by a caregiver assigned by the state to assist their special needs. Related Trivia Fact: Admiral Ackbar is the guy with the fish head from Return of the Jedi that screams things like, “Shorshenblorg borshchortle!”
Damage to Sex Life: 54.6%
Dressing like Darth Vader creates a number of sexual obstacles. First you have to find someone who doesn’t mind dating the dark lord of geeks, and from this point on the sentence is moot since you won’t, and then they have to safely be able to dig their way through your codpiece of cybernetic space enhancements. Impossible. Plus, the speech that Darth Vader gave to Natalie Portman in Episode II (about how she was so great because she wasn’t like sand) is going to hang over the heads of evil single Jedi for generations. On the other hand, the strict moral code of the good Jedi prevents them from touching naked women with anything other than a light saber. And that, of course, would kill them. On the third hand, I have this theory I’ve been meaning to test that jumping into a room naked and screaming like Chewbacca would be super erotic. Keep in mind, however, that my last theory, “Wouldn’t it be sweet if these were like, FLYING condoms?” went largely ignored by the sex community.

Distinguishing Characteristics: Overweight, casually strolling into the center of the room, and then when you least expect it, bursting into a blinding Jedi combat storm with a golf ball retriever.

Hehehe

Tarmac · « **Reply #2 on:** October 13, 2003, 05:04:41 PM »

"These geeks used to be called Trekkies, but now insist on the less derogatory term Trekkers, which is the image control equivalent of adding a koala bear to the Nazi flag."

I must be the luckiest guy alive, because my remaining 2% chance seems to be serving me pretty well.

I think I'll go buy a lottery ticket now.

At least my chances weren't further cut down by my involvement in a computer game in which I fly cartoon airplanes around and shoot other cartoon airplanes down.

type_char · « **Reply #3 on:** October 13, 2003, 05:18:51 PM »

No fun detected keptain!

udet · « **Reply #4 on:** October 13, 2003, 06:28:02 PM »

I think Furries are the lamest weirdoes pervos around!

AHGOD · « **Reply #5 on:** October 13, 2003, 11:57:22 PM »

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Originally posted by udet
I think Furries are the lamest weirdoes pervos around!

Saw resembles that remark take it back.

Sandman · « **Reply #6 on:** October 14, 2003, 12:03:29 AM »

Damn... flight sim geeks didn't make the top ten AGAIN!

Animal · « **Reply #7 on:** October 14, 2003, 12:09:44 AM »

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1. Live Action Role Playing
Public Humiliation: 100%
Live action role playing, or LARP, is a nerd’s parent’s worst fears come true: Dungeons and Dragons has finally made their child go crazy. These people dress up like fantasy characters and go on adventures where other nerds play the parts of enemy monsters, which would be fine if the participants were in the second grade. When adults do it, it’s like a renaissance faire and backyard wrestling met, had demonic babies, and gave them weapons.

Damage to Sex Life: 100%
If you and your team of paladins are thinking about leaving your mom’s basement to move your fantasy quests into society, you might as well leave your genitals behind.

Distinguishing Characteristics: Aside from the barbarian clothes and giant monster heads, it’s impossible to know who might be LARPing. The only way to be sure is when they throw make-believe fireballs at you from their very fingertips, but by then... it’s already too late.

...

Rutilant · « **Reply #8 on:** October 14, 2003, 12:16:24 AM »

A more unbiased definition of "Furry"

Animal · « **Reply #9 on:** October 14, 2003, 12:23:33 AM »

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Originally posted by Rutilant
A more unbiased definition of "Furry"

furry. dont tell me you are now going to whine about furry discrimination. furries are predictable.

go have sex with chip n' dale.

Rutilant · « **Reply #10 on:** October 14, 2003, 12:26:06 AM »

Whinin? Who's whinin?

Just figured more points of view than one from a troll site would be beneficial..

Animal · « **Reply #11 on:** October 14, 2003, 12:30:29 AM »

fuuuuuurrry

Saintaw · « **Reply #12 on:** October 14, 2003, 12:32:05 AM »

I have nothing to do whatsovever with those animals, err furry fluffy things!

Rutilant · « **Reply #13 on:** October 14, 2003, 12:34:59 AM »

Quote

Originally posted by Animal
fuuuuuurrry

Indeed.

(Pssst, i posted a link.)

Animal · « **Reply #14 on:** October 14, 2003, 12:40:17 AM »

Oh, you did. Here's another:
http://www.wolfiespack.com/furry/safesexcol.jpg