Sundiver,
No one has all the answers.
Just imagine how impossible it would be to write guidelines that fit your instincts and common sense on such issues.
My point was that you must have clearly defined guidelines. If a well-meaning honor student were to pack a knife in her lunch to cut her sandwich, should she be excused? If so how do you justify punishing the scary kid whom everyone is afraid of for doing the same? A lot of the time we have to punish good kids for breaking rules that were designed to keep everyone safe from the really bad kids.
If today’s policies were in place when you were present at the Richland High School shooting rampage in the early 80's, might the shooting have been prevented? How much value can we place on that?
Because this girl is an upstanding student, she has been let back into school and all should be relatively well. If she were a gangster with a bad history, then perhaps a disaster would have been avoided by the actions of the school staff.
I have little doubt that you are a good father, and are teaching your kids right from wrong. This is why you can trust your children, and can be trusted yourself. This is also why you may find it difficult to understand how awful some parents and even their kids are. When I taught first grade in a high-risk public school, I had two different students who’s parents; manufactured methamfetamines (sp?) in their homes. Some of my student’s parents were; alcoholics, drug addicts, murderers, murder-victims, permanently on welfare, had spent time in jail, were in gangs, etc… You can only imagine how good of parents these folks were. Have you ever wonder why so many kids can’t read? Many of them, were ignored until they began school. Many began first grade with less vocabulary and pre-reading skills than my daughter had when she was three.
Who is to look out for these kids?
Clearly the parents should, but very often they don’t.
Just saying that the parents should be more responsible does not make them so.
I do agree, it is very frightening how easily someone can falsely point a finger at you’re parenting skills and methods (or my teaching skills and methods). However, A lot of truly terrible parents (and sometimes even teachers, or clergy, etc.) are brought to attention by the same process.
There are serious consequences either way.
eskimo