General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Eagler on October 12, 2023, 01:35:29 PM
Title: Insecurities
Post by: Eagler on October 12, 2023, 01:35:29 PM
I think an insecure ego is the root of many if not most of our modern woes..
It is the cause of most conflict of one sort or another at one level or another imo
Everything from war to the inability to discuss anything without getting personal can be blamed on it
It is our egotistical pride that we are told to feed since birth which seems to have gotten out of hand lately - praising some for doing what's expected as if it were spectacular..
Now how the ego got that insecure is another question
Be humble as we are not all we think we are
Eagler
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: nopoop on October 12, 2023, 02:00:51 PM
Well put eagler. Confrontation instead of discussion is a sign of inflated ego. See it here and on 200 daily. I just pass on joining in with ego inflated confrontation. Inmature an akin to thinking with your dick. At my age its just not worth my time. I left all that in my twenties.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Busher on October 12, 2023, 04:36:16 PM
Unless that "secure ego" finds its security in dunning kruger effect.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Animl-AW on October 12, 2023, 10:00:16 PM
It is our egotistical pride that we are told to feed since birth which seems to have gotten out of hand lately - praising some for doing what's expected as if it were spectacular..
Eagler
Many of our generation raised narcissist. Spare the rod, spoil the child.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: GasTeddy on October 13, 2023, 01:26:03 AM
One part of it can be called "look-at-me-and-my-doings"-culture, thanks to social media. Nintendogenerations zombiephonechildren is the result.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: fd ski on October 13, 2023, 03:35:32 AM
Many of our generation raised narcissist. Spare the rod, spoil the child.
i agree that children are being raised narcissist. I'd add that free access to internet/mobile devices is screwing them up as well. But i take exception to "spare the rod..." wisdom. In my personal life i saw first hand what trauma does to young child ( and it doesn't have to be a physical one). One of the worst things you can do, is use the rod. You traumatize a child and teach it a simple value system "might makes right". Some kids will grow up well despite all that, some won't.
It is quite possible to build an authority with your child without beating them or treating them like a little prince/princess. And to be clear, my parents used the rod, and there was a time i did too. This is one of the things i'll regret until the end of my life.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: GasTeddy on October 13, 2023, 04:15:42 AM
i agree that children are being raised narcissist. I'd add that free access to internet/mobile devices is screwing them up as well. But i take exception to "spare the rod..." wisdom. In my personal life i saw first hand what trauma does to young child ( and it doesn't have to be a physical one). One of the worst things you can do, is use the rod. You traumatize a child and teach it a simple value system "might makes right". Some kids will grow up well despite all that, some won't.
It is quite possible to build an authority with your child without beating them or treating them like a little prince/princess. And to be clear, my parents used the rod, and there was a time i did too. This is one of the things i'll regret until the end of my life.
Pretty much agreed. My parents were not very fond of rod, rather other methods. I have never used it either. When my son was born, I was memorizing my childhood and decided to avoid everything I considered as a mistake, my wife had similar thoughts. We managed to create polite young man with good manners, respect to nature and healthy lifestyle. Best achievement of my life for sure.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Shamus on October 13, 2023, 05:23:49 AM
Was raised in a spare the rod spoil the child household and I vowed to never lay a hand on my son in anger. He is now in his 40's and one of the nicest well adjusted guys I know, far better than his Father, of course his Mother had a bit to do with that :D
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Meatwad on October 13, 2023, 06:36:07 AM
I was raised in the "you screw up your momma is gonna whip you with whatever she gets her hands on". I learnt early on what happens when you do something wrong. And I have gone through just fine.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Eagler on October 13, 2023, 06:58:05 AM
The belt worked fine when we four kids drove our parents nuts..
Getting the belt for dropping to a C on a report card was over the top but that C was gone the next report card..
Time out and speaking to 3 year olds like they are 16 does not work..seen that first hand
Also the record numbers of anxiety med scripts is more than alarming
Kids 10 years old and younger are on them as both parents
When did it all get so stressful..
When did everyone start living for others approval, likes and friends request?
There has always been insecurities but not at this record levels imo
Eagler
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Animl-AW on October 13, 2023, 08:58:32 AM
The saying is very old school. I don’t believe in the rod, but discipline is part of raising a well balanced child. The remark was mocking parents who use no discipline at all, afraid the child may get mad at them. We’ve over-praised them making them think they are above everyone, therefore their antics are o k. Its also rough on them to learn reality the hard way that its not. Parent vs friend.
My generation typically got the rod, which may have been over-used, which caused resentment to never use the rod (discipline) at all. So we were tainted by too much rod of the 1940s-50s concept.
We allowed them to play games internet 24/7, with no responsibilities at home.
I’ve got newbies coming into our craft who have zero work ethics. Asking them to do something is like asking them to jump off a cliff, despite they will never get a blue collar job that chokes them with so much money as a first or second job. Told to be so smart that they think everything they do and say is right, you’re wrong about everything, you’re stupid.
Our fault is not finding a balance between discipline and friend.
My wife (rip) was a friend too much, getting my son to walk 50ft to put a bag of garbage in a can was war.
My common remark when seeing the younger do something unacceptable is “well, who raised them?”. Its not always their fault they were raised to be that way.
Rod is just a saying for discipline, teaching manners and respect for others.
In our day, walking into a bar talking like that got a visit to a dentist. <shrug>
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Animl-AW on October 13, 2023, 09:13:36 AM
The belt worked fine when we four kids drove our parents nuts..
Getting the belt for dropping to a C on a report card was over the top but that C was gone the next report card..
Time out and speaking to 3 year olds like they are 16 does not work..seen that first hand
Also the record numbers of anxiety med scripts is more than alarming
Kids 10 years old and younger are on them as both parents
When did it all get so stressful..
When did everyone start living for others approval, likes and friends request?
There has always been insecurities but not at this record levels imo
Eagler
I don’t agree with your politics, but I know from what I read that you mean well. This subject is where we agree. You have your mind right on this reality. Why I hate politics, it divides otherwise good people and friends. Politics, religion and taxes/income should be kept private, it saves friendships. We politically disagree, but we both have our hearts in the right place. :)
Peace:)
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Eagler on October 13, 2023, 01:23:23 PM
I am so old - in high school after skipping 1st period the dean of boys would swat us and give us unexcused absence..and this was worth the fun we would have..
The gym coach would swat you if you missed behaved like fighting
It didn't kill any of us..didn't send us into the fetal position
This current light handed approach is causing more harm than good imo..
To the point some of those adults now think the police are the problem not the criminals..
Discipline is what makes the world go round, the absence of it gives you the youth you see today on the evening news.
This present softness/lack of discipline is one of causes of our record insecure behavior and record mental illness meds imo
Eagler
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: GasTeddy on October 14, 2023, 07:42:27 AM
I am so old - in high school after skipping 1st period the dean of boys would swat us and give us unexcused absence..and this was worth the fun we would have..
The gym coach would swat you if you missed behaved like fighting
It didn't kill any of us..didn't send us into the fetal position
This current light handed approach is causing more harm than good imo..
To the point some of those adults now think the police are the problem not the criminals..
Discipline is what makes the world go round, the absence of it gives you the youth you see today on the evening news.
This present softness/lack of discipline is one of causes of our record insecure behavior and record mental illness meds imo
Eagler
I pretty much agree in everything but IMHO discipline can be in most of the cases created without rod. Soft wrist jellypants parents without authority are the source of many problems and often rod and other means of violence are just creating defiance and resistance.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Eagler on October 14, 2023, 08:06:24 AM
Kids are like puppies..
You don't have to spank your puppy more than a couple of times before it understands it is to go outside to go to the bathroom..
If displine is provided early and properly, it will have served its purpose..
But to never actually punish the child...timeouts while they cry in the corner..what?...or send them to their room with tv, PlayStation, computer and phone is not going to cut it..
Parents want to be buddies more than parents these days..
The world reflects what spawns out of that..
Let the beatings begin! Lol
:cheers:
Eagler
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: JimmyD3 on October 14, 2023, 10:05:59 AM
You guys are arguing about techniques, the "Rod" vs "Compassionate Guidance". All you have to do is look at the last 2 or 3 generations and see the results. The last generation that was taught that actions have consequences, as a whole, was born in the 50's. The decline started in the 60's, and has continued to decline to the present. I believe children at a very early age need to start learning this. By the time a child is 2 1/2 to 3 years old they need to KNOW what NO means, AND what the consequences will be if they do not obey. What those consequences are maybe anything from a swat on the diaper to being put in bed, but the consequences must be perceived as negative by the child. :bolt:
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Animl-AW on October 14, 2023, 10:52:08 AM
You guys are arguing about techniques, the "Rod" vs "Compassionate Guidance". All you have to do is look at the last 2 or 3 generations and see the results. The last generation that was taught that actions have consequences, as a whole, was born in the 50's. The decline started in the 60's, and has continued to decline to the present. I believe children at a very early age need to start learning this. By the time a child is 2 1/2 to 3 years old they need to KNOW what NO means, AND what the consequences will be if they do not obey. What those consequences are maybe anything from a swat on the diaper to being put in bed, but the consequences must be perceived as negative by the child. :bolt:
Naaa, just buy them a new gaming unit so it keeps them out of your way while you refuse to give some things up to raise a family right. Then they can learn bad habits while you’re drunk watching sports with a crowd of drunks at the bar. The internet will raise your kids just fine.
[intense sarcasm]
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: sparky127 on October 14, 2023, 02:30:54 PM
It can all be traced back to the children of the WWII generation becoming parents.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Animl-AW on October 14, 2023, 04:09:22 PM
It can all be traced back to the children of the WWII generation becoming parents.
Actually before then, but the 60s-50s concept got noticed and later shamed. It went on until the late 70s early 80s,...but dying off. In then 90s, you can't talk angry or spank without going to jail. Which was entirely overboard that it was against the law to discipline your own child. I wouldn't doubt if you can't ground one to their bedroom with out going to jail for confinement. And as predicted, we ended up with a lot little self absorbed mouthy monsters.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Meatwad on October 14, 2023, 04:55:22 PM
There are now even people saying that taking the internet away from the kids smart devices is considered as child abuse
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Animl-AW on October 14, 2023, 10:26:52 PM
There are now even people saying that taking the internet away from the kids smart devices is considered as child abuse
I can understand the concern, I had the same with my own,...totally lose me on the child abuse thing. Everyone has a blanket answer to something that should be dealt with on an individual basis. I think it's child abuse to call it child abuse. <shrug> They are misinforming the child on reality and consequences, adjusting to the reality of laws, rules, and limits could be a mental trauma based on blind hysteria. <shrug> <runs>
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Eagler on October 15, 2023, 07:59:33 AM
You have children under 10 telling their parents they want a sex change and they are listening to them...
That is how bad all of this has become
Eagler
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Animl-AW on October 15, 2023, 10:17:08 AM
You have children under 10 telling their parents they want a sex change and they are listening to them...
That is how bad all of this has become
Eagler
Its just easier to escape parental responsibilities and labeling it as giving freedom without guidance. These should be decisions made as an adult, people go through many phases in life. Some of them foolish due to lack of knowledge and wisdom. We go back full circle, much has to do with parent ways. I don’t think lying should be normalized by watching their parents lie fir political gain. I don’t think kids should have assault weapons over hunting tools. Reality covers all subjects. Lead by example is my way, some use it the wrong way.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Meatwad on October 15, 2023, 11:26:54 AM
You have children under 10 telling their parents they want a sex change and they are listening to them...
That is how bad all of this has become
Eagler
And the doctors that are performing these and the parents that purposefully allowed it should be imprisoned for willful child abuse and mutilation of a child
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Animl-AW on October 15, 2023, 12:27:32 PM
And the doctors that are performing these and the parents that purposefully allowed it should be imprisoned for willful child abuse and mutilation of a child
Its not abuse when its a personal preference at the core. It would be a mild form of neglect, at best. This is where freedom and wanting everyone to conform to the ideology of one tribe collide, its no longer freedom. Pick your poison wisely. Age limits may apply. But now we’re slipping into politics, where nothing makes sense. Voodoo.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: -gg- on October 15, 2023, 01:19:52 PM
I think an insecure ego is the root of many if not most of our modern woes..
It is the cause of most conflict of one sort or another at one level or another imo
Everything from war to the inability to discuss anything without getting personal can be blamed on it
It is our egotistical pride that we are told to feed since birth which seems to have gotten out of hand lately - praising some for doing what's expected as if it were spectacular..
Now how the ego got that insecure is another question
Be humble as we are not all we think we are
Eagler
to me its not insecurity, it's arrogance.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Eagler on October 15, 2023, 03:20:38 PM
"Gloom, despair, and agony on me, Deep, dark depression and wretched misery, If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all..."
That's all I remember of it.
I've kinda decided there's not only a good and bad side to everything, there's a middle-gray squishy center too.
Go Pro videos make me feel great about the younger generation; their bravery and accomplishments. Yes, they are different from the Greatest Generation. But they have plenty of fine qualities, and they will be the ones to save the planet, even that is still possible:
HAPPY FRIDAY!
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: GasTeddy on October 20, 2023, 01:47:43 PM
Exactly. And it is used to control. Control with fear, one of the oldest method used to keep cattle obedient and lemmings in correct direction.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: MiloMorai on October 21, 2023, 07:00:09 AM
Insecurity and an inferiority complex go nicely together.
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Eagler on October 21, 2023, 07:36:31 AM
Question is why does it seem to be at historical levels?
Why is everyone on anxiety meds?
What is the cure?
I think social media has inflamed the issue..
Almost like many are not mature enough to handle it
Not sure everyone is actually qualified to work the small computer that makes phone calls and takes crazy hi res photos that they can't stop looking at during the day...even while driving
All for a license to ensure they are intelligent enough to handle the power in their hands as most seem like they are not.
Eagler
Title: Re: Insecurities
Post by: Dadtallica on October 21, 2023, 08:20:44 AM
It’s all relative. Never spanked my kids and they tuned out super cool humans.
Not everyone should be a parent but nobody knows otherwise until it’s too late.