Aces High Bulletin Board

General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: myelo on April 08, 2008, 06:16:01 PM

Title: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: myelo on April 08, 2008, 06:16:01 PM
then only outlaw chimps will have guns.

http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/04/05/0405chimp.html?imw=Y (http://www.statesman.com/news/content/news/stories/local/04/05/0405chimp.html?imw=Y)

<S> Tony. Godspeed.



Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Rollins on April 08, 2008, 06:22:03 PM
That cop will be hearing monkey jokes well after his retirement party.
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Geary420 on April 08, 2008, 06:24:42 PM
"The chimpanzee started flailing its arms. The officer shouted at least twice that he was going to shoot,"  :lol
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: culero on April 08, 2008, 06:29:28 PM
LOL, also "The officer slipped and fell backward while firing his gun, but the chimpanzee kept coming toward him,"

This would be an all-time funny video if it existed :)
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Geary420 on April 08, 2008, 06:32:54 PM
Agreed Culero, It's so out there I thought the original link was possibly an "Onion" type site, had to google it to verify.
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Xargos on April 08, 2008, 06:35:32 PM

I sure as hell wouldn't want an angry 140 pound chimpanzee getting a hold of me.
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Rino on April 08, 2008, 07:25:17 PM
     Not after hearing what those chimps did to that scientist out in Cal a few years ago. 
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Shamus on April 08, 2008, 07:28:32 PM
Dont taze me B'wana!!!!

shamus
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Airhead on April 08, 2008, 08:05:01 PM
"The chimpanzee started flailing its arms. The officer shouted at least twice that he was going to shoot,"  :lol

What I'd like to know is if the officer said "Stop or I will shoot!" or if he said "Oooh oooh EEEEK Ooooh!!!" Because if he said "Stop or I will shoot!" there's a good chance the chimp didn't understand him.
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: USRanger on April 08, 2008, 09:47:30 PM
 :rofl
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: SOB on April 08, 2008, 10:17:44 PM
"HE'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!!!!!"

Seriously though, after reading about the "severely mauled genitals", I might be inclined to pull the trigger too.

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2005/03/05/chimpanzee_attack_probed/
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Airhead on April 08, 2008, 11:18:32 PM
"HE'S COMING RIGHT FOR US!!!!!"

Seriously though, after reading about the "severely mauled genitals", I might be inclined to pull the trigger too.

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2005/03/05/chimpanzee_attack_probed/


Oh, no doubt the most frightening thing there is is being attacked by a wild animal- I got attacked by a spider monkey when I was a kid, in the past few years I've related the story in detail once or twice, maybe after a Crown Royal evening, so we won't go into detail, other than my fear-- but that monkey put such a severe arse whipping on me it made me wish I had a gun, that's for sure. Luckily he didint go for my package- probably because my junk immediately retreated into my abdominal cavity, and didn't drop back into its normal position til after high school- but I saw a show on the nature channel where they were rehabing chimps and this guy was wearing a super package guard that looked kinda like what Alex wore in "Clockwork Orange" and as far as I'm concerned I would NEVER want a job that requires heavy duty package protection to keep the chimps from ripping your dick off.

That seems like a really bad job to have. 
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: SOB on April 09, 2008, 12:35:41 AM
I'm talking about chimps; spider monkeys aren't the genital menace that chimps are.  In your inexperience you probably made a threatening gesture, because they're actually quite gentle and affectionate.  If you can see your way clear to giving them another chance, I'm sure you'll agree the sweet love of a Spider Monkey is like no other.
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Angus on April 09, 2008, 05:23:40 AM
140 lbs chimp in a mean mood is....actually dangerous. but for a couple of people...not so.
I had my close encounter with death with a 1000 lbs bull some years back. There would have been no time for a gun, and a chimp is faster than a bull.
So, in short, chimp was shot dead with both time and range enough to not shoot dead..
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: wrongwayric on April 09, 2008, 09:24:40 AM
Damn filthy stinkin apes. Kind of makes you wonder if there's a revolt being planned. There is a story out there somewhere about a zoo employee who was killed when he went to take a birthday cake in to a monkee cage and they attacked and killed him. I'll try to find it. Think it happened a year or so ago. Funniest thing i ever saw was the elephant video were the elephant sat on a guys head and he was trapped in the elephants butt. :rofl Believe you can still find that on U-tube.
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Ripsnort on April 09, 2008, 09:40:47 AM
There is a story out there somewhere about a zoo employee who was killed when he went to take a birthday cake in to a monkee cage and they attacked and killed him. I'll try to find it. Think it happened a year or so ago.

That got my curiousity up and I goobled it on the interweb:

St. James and LaDonna stood outside Moe’s cage. The moment was festive. Moe was happy and relaxed as birthday greetings were exchanged.

Then, without provocation, Buddy and Ollie, two chimpanzees who had escaped from an adjoining cage staged an ambush — or as Newt-trained Republicans like to say, “a pre-emptive attack.”

First, Buddy bit off LaDonna’s thumb. She froze. St. James pulled his bleeding wife away and faced the attackers. He even attempted to reason with them. They showed no mercy. It was pure chimpanzee shock and awe.

Buddy and Ollie chewed off St. James’ nose, gouged out an eye, tore off his cheek, bit off all his fingers, twisted and shredded his foot from his body, tore off his testicles, and literally mauled him.

The melee went on for seven minutes before a ranch worker shot Buddy in the head. Ollie was dragging St. James down a walkway when a bullet took him down.
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Maverick on April 09, 2008, 10:39:53 AM
A full grown chimp is nothing to take lightly. They are incredibly powerful and downright mean when angry.
Title: Re: If you outlaw guns ...
Post by: Angus on April 09, 2008, 10:39:58 AM
They actually maul each other on occations.
Jackson was okay with Bubbles though  :devil