Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: Ripsnort on June 25, 2008, 01:09:31 PM
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A guy goes into the store and asks the clerk, "Can I have some Polish sausage?"
The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"
The guy says, "Well, yes I am. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German sausage, would you asked me if I was German? Or if I had asked for a taco, would you ask me if I was Mexican?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
The guy says, "Well, why do you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for a Polish sausage?"
The clerk says, "Because this is a hardware store."
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Hey!?!?!!? I resemble that joke. :D
I have another though....another polish sausage joke. :O
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bada-bing !!
thank you ladies and gents.......I've been wonderful and you've been a car payment...G-Nite cleveland!!
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Hey, it seemed appropriate (see edit on post in this thread) and I'm on vacation dammit!
http://bbs.hitechcreations.com/smf/index.php/topic,239482.0.html
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'Kurwa' is all you need to know.
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A polish guy goes into an eye doctor to have his eyes checked.
The doctor has him cover one eye, and asks: "Can you read that chart alright?"
The polish man responds: "Yeah, and I know all those people!"
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Thank you Rip.
Everyone is looking at me and asking why I am laughing.
This is the first good news in months.
You are the man. :salute
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Not funny for me... stupid racist Jokes
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Not funny for me... stupid racist Jokes
Polish is not a race....it's a nationality.... :huh
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Polish is not a race....it's a nationality.... :huh
There are MANY AH players who would disagree with you on 200. Especially for other "races".
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Does anyone know how to confuse a Pole?
Put him in a round room and tell him to pee in the corner.
:D
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Does anyone know how to confuse a Pole?
Put him in a round room and tell him to pee in the corner.
:D
Did you hear about the 1930's when Poland didn't have any ice? The lady with the recipe died.
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Q: What's delaying the Polish space program?
A: Development of a working match.
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What's black and hangs from the ceiling?
A polish electrician.
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What's with all the anti-polish sentiment?
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What's with all the anti-polish sentiment?
The Poles make great Pilsners
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They also held out for 4 weeks vs Hitler & Stalin.
The French (w the support of The RAF and British Expeditionary Force) lasted 6 weeks.
They were the most lethal sqd in the entire BoB scenario.
Tehy were the first annexed country of WW2 to break away from the USSR's iron curtain.
:aok
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Take it easy guys. The best thing about being Polish is taking a joke.
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lol that was funny.
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Take it easy guys. The best thing about being Polish is taking a joke.
:aok
Darn right, some of those are pretty funny :D
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They also held out for 4 weeks vs Hitler & Stalin.
The French (w the support of The RAF and British Expeditionary Force) lasted 6 weeks.
They were the most lethal sqd in the entire BoB scenario.
Tehy were the first annexed country of WW2 to break away from the USSR's iron curtain.
:aok
very tough and brave those poles were,, i bet they could handle a joke or two!! :aok
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I do have a lot of respect for the Poles. Charging German tanks with horse cavalry takes some big ones. Their pilots were also fearless. I just love a good joke now and then. No disrespect intended.
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Charging German tanks with horse cavalry takes some big ones.
This never happened. The Polish cavalrymen were brave, not stupid.
http://warandgame.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/polish-cavalry-myth/ (http://warandgame.wordpress.com/2008/01/04/polish-cavalry-myth/)
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I grew up in Northern MN; predominantly Scandanavian and a lot of Finns (I'm one). Everyone up there told Finn jokes (Polish jokes with the nationality changed). All the Finns of course, told Polish jokes. It was all in good lighthearted fun. It's too bad some people can't take a joke.
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Growing up in Chicago, I had a Polish aunt who told me the best ones. One I remember from childhood:
Two Polish hunters are out for hours in the woods with their trusty hound trying to bag some birds. One says to the other "We haven't gotten anything, what are we doing wrong?" Other guy says, "Maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough."
:)
A good sense of humor alleviates a lot of life's stress. I still get some great Irish jokes thrown my way as I am mainly Irish.
-An Irishman walks out of a bar... Hey, it could happen!
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Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Pole, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10 times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Pole, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Pole, and he stands there straight and takes his 10 lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Pole"
A Pollack walked into a bar with a duck under his arm. The bartender saw them and said, "Hey, what are you doing bringing that pig in here?" The Pollack answered, "That's not a pig; it's a duck." And the bartender replied, "I was talking to the duck!"
A Pollack walked into a bar with dogshit in his hand and said to the bartender, "Look what I almost stepped it!"
A Pollack walked in to a pizza place and ordered a pizza. The pizza man asked him, "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight?" And the Pollack answered, "Cut it into six; I couldn't eat eight."
Did you hear about the Polish fish?
It drowned.
Did you hear about the Polish football team?
Well, four scores and seven years ago . . .
Have you heard about the Polish cocktail?
Perrier and water.
Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot?
He flew 39 missions.
Have you heard about the Polish princess?
She could tell if someone peed in the bed.
"Have you heard the Polish knock knock joke?"
"No."
"Say `knock knock'."
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
How can you tell a Polish neighborhood?
By the toilet paper hung out to dry.
How do you know when a Pollack has been in your back yard?
Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant.
How do you sink a Polish battleship?
Put it in water.
The first Polish spacecraft was put into orbit with two astronauts. One of them took a space walk to repair something on the exterior of the spacecraft. When he was done he knocked on the airlock's inner door. And the other Pollack asked, "Who's there?"
The first prize in a certain contest was a week in Poland. The second prize was two weeks in Poland.
The Pollacks were getting really pissed off about people telling all these Pollack jokes so they decided to stage a march on Washington.
When last heard from they were 10 miles out of Seattle.
Sign on a toilet seat protector dispenser: "Polish T-shirts."
What does a Pollack use to clean salad bowls?
A bowl brush.
What does it say on the bottom of Polish Coke bottles?
"Open other end."
What does the bride wear at a Polish wedding?
Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, something orange, something green, something yellow, something purple . . .
What's the biggest problem of Polish dump operators?
Shoplifting.
What's the most popular Polish fast-food restaurant?
Booger King.
What's the most useless thing on a woman?
A Pollack.
What strange elastic material do Polish children play with?
Silly puckey.
Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same?
Because Webster couldn't tell toejam from shinola.
Why are Pollacks the only ones who eat toejam?
They're the only ones who know how to cook it.
Why are there only two pallbearers at a Polish funeral?
A garbage can only has two handles.
Why couldn't the Pollack change a light bulb?
All he had was a twenty-dollar bill.
Why did the Pollack go to sea?
Somebody flushed the bathtub.
Why do they they throw toejam on the walls at a Polish wedding?
To keep the flies off the bride.
Why does a Pollack carry a little turd in his pocket?
For identification.
Why does a Pollack carry two little turds in his pocket?
Because one good turd deserves another.
Why don't they let Pollacks swim in Lake Michigan?
They leave a ring.
Why don't they make ice in Poland?
They lost the formula.
Why do Polish airplanes fly so low?
So the pilots can read the street signs.
Why do they throw toejam on the walls at a Polish wedding?
To keep the flies off the bride.
Why is there glass in front of the monkey cage at the Warsaw Zoo?
The Pollacks throw toejam at them.
Why were the Polish troops sent to Iraq all women?
They thought it was the battle of all mothers.
http://www.polishjoke.com/polish_joke-index.htm
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<S> Ramzy! :aok
Haven't heard many of them in years.
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:rofl ramzey! :lol
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Poles are awesome, two of my best mates are Polish and I've had the pleasure of working with them through school, university and bands.
I've always dropped jokes at them and I've always taken what they dish out in return.
It's all in good humor. All the Poles I've met have been outstanding people.
:salute
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Reminds me of an old joke I heard when I was a kid. 2 sailors (Joe & Jeff) are in port on liberty and flat broke.
PM me for the rest of the joke.