Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: caldera on August 02, 2008, 04:57:44 PM
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I always liked this one...
Q "Why does the new Italian Navy have glass bottom boats?"
A "So they can see the old Italian Navy"
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:devil "pull my finger" :rofl :aok :rock
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What do you call a German virgin?
Fits-um-good-n-tite!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtles back?
Weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
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2 guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks
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what's white and goes up?
a retarded snowflake.
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Capital of Thailand?
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Capital of Thailand?
*covers groin*
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A baby seal walks into a club...
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A baby seal walks into a club...
The O'Club or an Australian club? :lol
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The O'club :D
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I don't know the answer to this one but if there is no sheep around, that seal is in serious trouble.
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Q: What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
A: Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson . . . has sex with little boys.
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2 weeks :cry
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
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If athletes get athlete's feet, what do astronauts get?
mistletoe :confused:
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
It must be true. My younger brother is Long Duck Dong. :)
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Q: What has 50 legs and 5 teeth?
A: The front row at a Willy Nelson concert. (http://www.mazeguy.net/happy/rotfl.gif)
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I always liked this one...
Q "Why does the new Italian Navy have glass bottom boats?"
A "So they can see the old Italian Navy"
That reminds me of the one about the cache of WW2-era French rifles that were recently discovered and put up for sale. They're in remarkably good condition, never been fired and only dropped once! :D
another one, dumb and slightly risque...
Q. What's the difference between a clever midget and a girl with V.D.?
A. Well, one's a cunning runt...
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Jeffrey Dahmer to Lorena Bobbit: "Say, you gonna eat that?"
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That reminds me of the one about the cache of WW2-era French rifles that were recently discovered and put up for sale. They're in remarkably good condition, never been fired and only dropped once! :D
another one, dumb and slightly risque...
Q. What's the difference between a clever midget and a girl with V.D.?
A. Well, one's a cunning runt...
:lol :aok
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How do clowns taste?
-Funny
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Interupting cow
Interupting co--
MOO!!!!!
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If athletes get athlete's feet, what do astronauts get?
mistletoe :confused:
If athletes get athlete's feet, what do camel-jockeys get?
:D
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^
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:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl
That is too funny!!!
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" Know the toe"
:eek:
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I always liked this one...
Q "Why does the new Italian Navy have glass bottom boats?"
A "So they can see the old Italian Navy"
:mad: i feel that offencive :furious i am full blooded italian :rofl
but, heres mine
Question=Your dog's barking at the back door. Your wife's barking at the front. Who do you let in?
Answer=Well, it's your call... but the dog'll stop barking when you let him in.
-BigBOBCH
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Ive got a ton but there bad. :lol
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Ive got a ton but there bad. :lol
PM me please and I will share my pile joke for joke.
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Q: What's a a rednecks last words?
A: Hey yall, watch this!!
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PM me please and I will share my pile joke for joke.
check pm's
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check pm's
Check yours :rofl and PM me your email for lots more.
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whats worse than a male chauvinist pig ?
a woman who don't do like i tell her
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(http://rockford.yi.org/ah/sucks.gif) (http://www.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/jumping/jumping0018.gif)
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I heard a couple stupid/funny ones the other day.
So, a baby seal walked into a club...
(dramatic pause, wait for laughs)
Q. Why can't Hellen Keller drive?
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A. Because she's a woman.
:rofl
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:rofl
Jeffrey Dahmer to Lorena Bobbit: "Say, you gonna eat that?"
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Boy wakes up one school day finding himself late. In a hurry he grabs his bike and pushes it to school. Another kid sees him push the bike into the yard and asks, "Why didn't you ride your bike to school"? The kid answers, "Because I didn't have time to get on it".
I often use this as an analogy at work.
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what the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
wheres me tractor?
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oh wait
whats a gynecologist and pizza delivery man have in common?
oh never mind this ones a little too much :t
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If athletes get athlete's feet, what do camel-jockeys get?
:D
Camel feet? :huh
I dont get it........................... ............................. .......
;)
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oh wait
whats a gynecologist and pizza delivery man have in common?
oh never mind this ones a little too much :t
PM me please!!! Same goes for you Vans :)
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Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
Lipstick
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How to find out who loves you more, your dog or your wife.
Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car.
Wait one hour and then open the trunk and see which one is glad to see ya
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Real newspaper headlines
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the United States and world.
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men: The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty: Newsday, July 11
Man shoots neighbor with machete: The Miami Herald, July 3
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes: The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
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Ive got a ton but there bad. :lol
You've heard my tons and tons of funny jokes. :lol :P
If anyone wants to know a website to some of the funniest (double rated R) jokes, PM me.
oh, and my little joke is:
'This is been Rated R, for Retarded
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First sarge told me this one, what does ARMY stand for?
Arnt Ready to be Marines Yet....
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What the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew the light bulb!!! :rofl
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what does USMC stand for?
Uncle Sam's Misguided Children!
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What does U.S. army stand for backwards?
YesMyRetardedAssSignedUp
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Oh, so I make one good joke and the whole place goes silent! :t HaHa I'm getting better at that :t
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What's orange and looks good on hippies? ......
Fire.
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O
O ^__^
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A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe
He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring
blankly at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young
cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, 'If you ain't gonna eat that,
mind if I do?'
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and
in his best cowboy manner says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to
his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down
to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was
shocking and he immediately spews up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'
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A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe
He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring
blankly at a full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young
cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, 'If you ain't gonna eat that,
mind if I do?'
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and
in his best cowboy manner says, 'Nah, you go ahead.'
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to
his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down
to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was
shocking and he immediately spews up the chili into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, 'Yep, that's as far as I got, too.'
:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :cry :cry :cry :cry :rofl :rofl :aok
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Q) What happened to the man who didn't keep up his payments to his exorcist?
A) He was repossessed!
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In The Navy
A Marine and Navyman are in the bathroom together, and the Marine goes to leave without washing his hands.
"Hey," says the Navyman, "in the Navy they teach us to wash our hands."
"In the Marines, they teach us not to piss on our hands."