Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: ZetaNine on September 23, 2009, 09:08:59 PM
-
so.....on another board that I frequent (NFL Board ) where I am almost as annoying as I am here......I came upon a thread that I thought was not only dayum funny......but has great potential on this board.
the thread was started by a guy who had a buddy ask him something that made him rather uncomfortable...and within a few posts....other people started adding things......based of the Man Law premise: what guys should not do for or with other guys......
here were some of the ones I thought were funny:
1) A guy is never required to give another guy a birthday card. As a matter of fact, gifts are not warranted unless they involve half nekked women, firearms, alcohol or any combination of all three....and bacon.
2) Ask if these jeans make my *** look fat????
3) Definitely have to have the "we're not gay seat" between you in a theater.
4) Stand and hold the door for another guy. You can reach behind you and flip it open so he can catch it, but that's all.
there's GOT to be some other good ones.....
-
Errr...man hug (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUdWApwbudQ)?
-
Yeah, no hugging without a handshake in between, max 3 pats on the back, and absolutely for no more than 5 seconds.
No holding hands unless you're helping the guy off the ground or over an obstacle.
-
Ride on the back of another man's motorcycle.
-
No holding hands unless you're helping the guy off the ground or over an obstacle.
Even then, you ought to be "grasping his wrist," not "holding his hand." :D
EDIT:
1) A guy is never required to give another guy a birthday card. As a matter of fact, gifts are not warranted unless they involve half nekked women, firearms, alcohol or any combination of all three....and bacon.
Comes in handy (http://www.thinkgeek.com/brain/whereisit.cgi?t=bacon). Yeah. That's right. Canned bacon.
-
It isn't "we're not gay" seating, it's "man spacing". It has nothing to do with sexuality, it has everything to do with a guy's gotta have his space. A hot chick can encroach, but that's because her presence overrides man spacing. A case of beer may also occupy the empty seat, because a case of beer overrides man spacing. But another guy encroaching on man spacing is just some guy in your space... He brings nothing of value into your space, unlike a hot chick or beer.
Get it?
Besides, you can bet that they guy walking around saying "I'm not gay" all the time is probably the gay guy anyhow. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but the ones making a big deal about it are the ones with the "problem".
I've been a fighter pilot for 15 years and I haven't ever seen another fighter pilot do anything to prove that he isn't gay, or feel any pressure to claim "not gay" status. The very few gay fighter pilots and WSOs I know didn't have anything to prove either, even though the AF didn't treat them very well.
Except for the F-15C drivers... They're all gay and desperate to prove they're not. But we all know the truth. Sinners.
-
Ride on the back of another man's motorcycle.
Eww gross.
Ever have to use the urinal next to some guy who's dressed overly well and who looks like a pretty-boy, all proud of his manhood... And feel compelled to tip the karmic balance a bit? Easy solution - Glance at him briefly, glance down, then look him right in the eyes and say...
"nice watch"
-
I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death. He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird." :) I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position. :lol
Guess ya had to be there. ;)
-
I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death. He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird." :) I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position. :lol
Guess ya had to be there. ;)
Ranger, no matter HOW bad anything you guys do over there looks its still better looking than some rat-faced hag makin love to a goat. Thanks for everything you do! Hopefully my dad won't be takin you home anytime soon! (brings MedEvac crews down and back) :salute
-
its still better looking than some rat-faced hag makin love to a goat.
I'm getting a lot of use for this today.
(http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff255/OOZ662/wut.jpg)
But, I do agree. About all of it, that is.
-
Errr...man hug (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUdWApwbudQ)?
Well, we can't take this as truth when they suggest we pat our male friends on the back using the left hand yet they demonstrate it with the right. Definitely not something men should do. :D
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL4L4Uv5rf0
-
I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death. He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird." :) I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position. :lol
Guess ya had to be there. ;)
HAHAHA ranger thats priceless, was anyone singing home on the range?
-
I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death. He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird." :) I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position. :lol
Guess ya had to be there. ;)
lol. One thing I noticed is that everyone I know who has served in the military is absolutely uninhibited when it comes to doing what needs to be done. You guys have the balls to come uncomfortable close to each others' when you have to and not feel gay about it. <S> :salute
-
I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death. He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird." :) I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position. :lol
Guess ya had to be there. ;)
Well if it's to keep from freezing to death, and it's with a gunner of some sort, then it's probably ok. But just that once. I don't know that David Hackworth would have done it though, the badassness of him would have just kept the cold off naturally.
-
On a subway, bus or some such transportation, when a solider (man or woman) comes in you WILL give up your seat for them.
-
On a subway, bus or some such transportation, when a solider (man or woman) comes in you WILL give up your seat for them.
If it's a Marine you'll get told to sit down, shut up and hold on.
-
If it's a Marine you'll get told to sit down, shut up and hold on.
Hahahahahahaha exxxxxxactly.
-
Eagl and USRanger.......... well done....
that's some funny poo right there.
thought of another one........
never say this to a buddy: you seem so distant, whatcha thinkin' about?
-
never say this to a buddy: you seem so distant, whatcha thinkin' about?
I stick with "You all right? Wanna go find some hot chicks?"
-
There will be no conversation while shaking at the urinal.
-
I suppose, "How's it hangin?" is uncalled for conversation? :)
-
When asked how are you felling, never repliy with "super!"
-
LOL.... found these so I'm sharing.
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man While lifting weights: a) Yeah, Ba-by, Push it! b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting In line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
" BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say, "You're next!"
I hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Manlaws, Ltd.
-
On a subway, bus or some such transportation, when a solider (man or woman) comes in you WILL give up your seat for them.
Call me old fashioned, I usually reserve that privilege for pregnant women and the elderly.
-
I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death. He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird." :) I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position. :lol
Guess ya had to be there. ;)
Sounds like Ft. Drum to me. :D
It get colder than a Witch's tittie up there, doesn't it? :O
-
Ride on the back of another man's motorcycle.
Exemption is riding shotgun in a sidecar (but passenger in sidecar must actually be brandishing a shotgun)
-
Ok, here's mine:
Only men who are insecure about their sexuality worry if what they're doing or what they prefer is effeminate or homosexual.
lol. One thing I noticed is that everyone I know who has served in the military is absolutely uninhibited when it comes to doing what needs to be done. You guys have the balls to come uncomfortable close to each others' when you have to and not feel gay about it. <S> :salute
And what about the hundreds or thousands of homosexuals who are serving overseas at this very moment?
-
Ok, here's mine:
Only men who are insecure about their sexuality worry if what they're doing or what they prefer is effeminate or homosexual.
And what about the hundreds or thousands of homosexuals who are serving overseas at this very moment?
I'm almost certain that they feel gay regardless of the situation.............
-
haha angelina jolie is one ugly chick in my book.... I always refer to her as nobby knees.
-
I'm almost certain that they feel gay regardless of the situation.............
Hehe, that's very true. I'm just trying to point out that complimenting our armed servicemen and women for doing their duty without "feeling gay" has to be one of the most out of place and irrelevant compliments you could ever give someone who puts their life on the line for our country.
-
Hehe, that's very true. I'm just trying to point out that complimenting our armed servicemen and women for doing their duty without "feeling gay" has to be one of the most out of place and irrelevant compliments you could ever give someone who puts their life on the line for our country.
Understood.
I've been in the situation that Ranger was talking about and, at temperatures -30 and below (including wind chill), the gender of the person you are sharing sleeping space with becomes totally irrelevant.
BRRRRRRRRRR !!
-
I once spooned with my SAW gunner on a mountainside in Afghanistan to keep from freezing to death. He whispered in my ear "Don't make this weird." :) I had to bury my face in my armpit because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes and didn't want to give away our position. :lol
Guess ya had to be there. ;)
As long as you didnt make eye contact. :D :x Couldn't help myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ68X_M_n2c
-
Ok, here's mine:
Only men who are insecure about their sexuality worry if what they're doing or what they prefer is effeminate or homosexual.
Quoted for truth.