Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: USRanger on July 19, 2010, 10:59:17 PM
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-Foreplay is optional.
-Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
-Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
-You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
-You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
-You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-You don't give a rat's bellybutton if someone notices your new haircut.
-You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even
thinking: "He must be mad at me".
-The world is your urinal.
-You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to
leave you.
-You get to jump up and slap stuff.
-Hot wax never comes near you pubic area.
-One mood, all the time.
-You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
-You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too
scary.
-You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
-You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
-Same work....more pay.
-Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
-You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
-Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
-You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
-With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population
in 15 tries, at least in theory.
-You don't mooch off others' desserts.
-If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
-The remote is yours and yours alone.
-People never glance at your chest when your talking to them.
-ESPN's SportsCenter.
-You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
-Bachelor parties whomp bellybutton over bridal showers.
-You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
-You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
-You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
-If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your
friends you've changed.
-Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
-If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become
lifelong buddies.
-The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
-You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because your not in the mood.
-If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and
throw it across the room.
-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
-You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
-Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
-Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So ... notice anything
different?"
-Baywatch
-There is always a game on somewhere.
:banana:
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LOL, these are really funny. Might want to re-read some of them, they might not all be within the rules though.
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-If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and
throw it across the room. :rofl :rofl :rofl works everytime
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Hahaha those are awesome!!
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If you fail at something, remember to say "its all her fault"
This thread is INteresting.
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-You can open wine bottles (corked ones) with only a bayonet ;)
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lol
-BigBOBCH
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As a man, i can make a bomb outta a roll of toliet paper, and a stick of dynamite :noid
Awesome thread :aok
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-That fish hanging up across the room was caught on your trip to the Keys and instead of stretching how big the ugly thing was, got it mounted as proof.
-Guns
-We can get hit in a sport and we bounce right back up (except in futbol or if you are Joe Theisman. If you don't know what is meant by that, why are you reading this)?
-You couldn't care less if it is raining outside, you're gonna do what you want to do.
-Driving
:noid :noid :noid
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Lol.... :aok
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-smelling like sweat, dirt, and grease is considered normal/a good thing
-flying a b17 for a hour and a half on AH while drinking beer and smoking a cigar are expected behavior for a sunday afternoon
-ignoring the wife/girlfriend while that sweet muscle car rolls by
-airshows, carshows, gunshows, etc...
:cheers:
Tmetal
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LMAO, funny stuff.
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:aok
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:rofl
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I can think of a couple more reasons that aren't on that list:
(http://www.tacomaworld.com/gallery/data/500/Yvonne_Strahovski.jpg)
(http://www.maratechnology.net/Jessica_Alba_001.jpg)
(http://smashorpass.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/jennifer_love_hewitt.jpg)
(http://www.howcelebritiesloseweight.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/kristen-bell.jpg)
(http://ohmars.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/anne-hathaway.jpg)
(http://www.vanishingtattoo.com/tattoo/images/celeb-dushku/dushku_large/eliza_dushku_002.jpg)
(http://www.mobileddl.com/files/image/Maxim-Shannon-Elizabeth.jpeg)
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well saxman, the only reason we enjoy that is because we are men. Yadda, yadda, *more reasoning crap*. OK, I'm done being impartial....
:O :O :O
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I can think of a couple more reasons that aren't on that list:
(http://www.tacomaworld.com/gallery/data/500/Yvonne_Strahovski.jpg)
(http://www.maratechnology.net/Jessica_Alba_001.jpg)
(http://smashorpass.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/jennifer_love_hewitt.jpg)
(http://www.howcelebritiesloseweight.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/kristen-bell.jpg)
(http://ohmars.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/anne-hathaway.jpg)
(http://www.vanishingtattoo.com/tattoo/images/celeb-dushku/dushku_large/eliza_dushku_002.jpg)
(http://www.mobileddl.com/files/image/Maxim-Shannon-Elizabeth.jpeg)
Hate to point it out Saxman but...a "bush diver" would consider those good reasons to not be a man.
For us old guys, those are all reasons for male frustration...and my fav's are numbers 2 and 3... :D
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This is a great thread.... I'm gonna have to watching this one. :old:
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Ranger where I live the fourth statement doesnt apply!
Several years ago a woman took the Goverment to court stating equal rights when she was charged for not wearing a top while cutting her grass,the charge was indicent exposure. Long story short she won and any woman can take her top off in public if she wishes too.
Ya that first summer was interesting as many took advantage of this new ruling,however most who did this werent the "type" I'd prefer to see,if you know what I mean.
:salute
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:rofl Nice :aok
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Ranger where I live the fourth statement doesnt apply!
Several years ago a woman took the Goverment to court stating equal rights when she was charged for not wearing a top while cutting her grass,the charge was indicent exposure. Long story short she won and any woman can take her top off in public if she wishes too.
Ya that first summer was interesting as many took advantage of this new ruling,however most who did this werent the "type" I'd prefer to see,if you know what I mean.
:salute
Ummmm ick? I'm thinking 'gophers'
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I'm thinking 'gophers'
(http://www.batguys.com/articles/images/caddyshack.jpg)
Ground squirrels.
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A man will see this photo and not be confused....
(http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4119/4776743537_6693beef70_b.jpg)
A man doesn't see this as a problem... It's an opportunity to upgrade.
(http://project-jk.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=36848)
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Favorite picture in Saxmans group is number 3...she looks like she just got done with an amazing night in the bedroom...
As for widewings....well your last photo doesn't look like an opportunity to upgrade...more like an opportunity to show you skill and prowess with power tools and repair ability.
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I was convinced you were right before I got past Yvonne. :aok
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I was convinced you were right before I got past Yvonne. :aok
I know, it's hard to argue with perfection, right?
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Ranger where I live the fourth statement doesnt apply!
Several years ago a woman took the Goverment to court stating equal rights when she was charged for not wearing a top while cutting her grass,the charge was indicent exposure. Long story short she won and any woman can take her top off in public if she wishes too.
Ya that first summer was interesting as many took advantage of this new ruling,however most who did this werent the "type" I'd prefer to see,if you know what I mean.
:salute
With all due respect, a lot of *us* should really cover up too.
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a man would be happy to have a three some with his Girlfriend and her bi-lesbo best friend....