Aces High Bulletin Board
General Forums => The O' Club => Topic started by: USRanger on August 02, 2010, 04:25:12 PM
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again.
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
6. Sometimes he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and tanks.
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats.
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or changing of the tides.
11. Shopping is not a sport.
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really!
13. You have enough clothes.
14. You have too many shoes.
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.
16. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints are pointless.
18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
19. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
20. Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes, so what makes you think we'd
be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty would look good with your dress?
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
22. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
23. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
24. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
25. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
26. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how attractive you are?
27. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
28. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done -but not both.
29. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials.
30. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.
31. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
32. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.
33. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes
you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from
reading the magazines.
34. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
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:rofl 27 is great :aok
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:aok :aok :aok
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#21 where my wife struggle. It is always "maybe", "we will see", "perhaps" or "i don't know".
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Ya know Ranger we should get that translated into Chinese ideographs, have Ink and any other Tat artists here throw it on the wall of their shop with some really inspirational phrasing next to it and see who can get the first airhead to pay to have it tattooed down their side. I'd laugh for at least a day or two.
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#21 where my wife struggle. It is always "maybe", "we will see", "perhaps" or "i don't know".
I think i may have married her sister, agree with you 100%.
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<S> the truth!
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:aok
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Ya know Ranger we should get that translated into Chinese ideographs, have Ink and any other Tat artists here throw it on the wall of their shop with some really inspirational phrasing next to it and see who can get the first airhead to pay to have it tattooed down their side. I'd laugh for at least a day or two.
1. 如果您认为您是肥胖的，您大概是。 不要要求我们。
2. 学会工作马桶座： 如果它是投入它下来。
3. 不要剪您的头发。 。
4. 生日、华伦泰和周年纪念不是搜寻再看他是否可以发现完善的礼物。
5. 如果您问您不想要答复对的问题，期待您不想要听见的一个答复。
6. 有时他不考虑您。 与它居住。
7. 不要问他什么他认为，除非您准备着谈论这样题目象肚脐棉绒、猎枪形成和坦克。
8. 除掉您的猫。 并且没有，它不是不同的，它是象其他猫。
9. 狗比所有猫好。
10. 星期天=体育。 它是象满月或改变浪潮。
11. 购物不是体育。
12. 您佩带的任何优良是。 真正地!
13. 您有足够的衣裳。
14. 您有许多鞋子。
15. 哭泣是敲诈。 使用它，如果您必须，但不要期待我们对象它。
16. 您的前男友是蠢货。
17. 请求什么您想要。 微妙的提示是无意义的。
18. 不，他不知道什么天它是。 从未他意志。 标记周年纪念在日历。
19. 是， peeing的站起来比peeing困难从近距离平射射程。 我们有时一定到错过。
20. 多数人拥有二双或三双鞋，因此什么使您认为我们会
是配对的所有擅长于选择，从三十当中将看好用您的礼服？
21. 是和没有是完全可接受的答复。
22. 不要伪造它。 我们宁可比被欺骗无效的。
23. 我们说的任何6个或8个月前是不许可的在论据。 所有评论变得除消并作废在7天以后。
24. 如果您不穿戴象维多利亚的秘密女孩，不要盼望我们行动象肥皂剧人。
25. 如果我们说的事可以被解释二种方式，并且其中一个方式使您哀伤，并且恼怒，我们意味另一个。
26. 让我们眄。 如果我们不看其他妇女，我们怎么可以知道多么有吸引力您是？
27. 如果您不要灵魔出来，不要摩擦灯。
28. 您能要求我们做某事或告诉我们怎么您想要完成的它-，但不是两个。
29. 每当可能，请什么说在商务期间，您必须说。
30. 克里斯托弗・哥伦布没有需要方向，并且都不我们。
31. 妇女佩带Wonderbras的和low-cut女衬衫丢失他们的权利抱怨有他们的蠢材凝视在。
32. 考虑高尔夫球每微型假期从您。 我们需要它，象您做。
33. 告诉我们模型在人的杂志是喷枪喷射的牌子
您看起来嫉妒，并且狭窄和它一定不阻止我们从
读杂志。
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21. 是和没有是完全可接受的答复。
That is a long tat, hehehe.
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If you want your house to be standing after the 4th of July, give us a limited budget when we go off buying fireworks.
You are complex creatures, if we don't get everything right 100% of the time don't get pissed at us.
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:rofl Serenity
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:D
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There's no chinese symbol for "peeing"??? :O :D
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There's no chinese symbol for "peeing"??? :O :D
or Wonderbras?
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or Wonderbras?
or low-cut?
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Relationships with human beings have three primary stages.
Lust
Romantic Love
Mutual Respect and Bonding
Lust is no different than a cocaine addiction. During the workup to the event, in the event and after the event your body is producing it's own addictive brand of hormones and opiates. Thats why you spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about it, creating oportunities to do it and not thinking twice when it happens. Both sexs do this equaly and are just as randy as the other. Ever noticed how happy people are when they get some? Then how cranky they start getting the longer away from getting it they become? Withdrawal is a horrible thing to watch.
Romantic Love is like Obsesive Compulsive Disorder. You have problems thinking or talking about anything but the object of your compulsion\desire. If both of you are not obsesivly fixated on the other together, well it gets very messy and the rejcted one will go through a textbook cold turky withdrawal from his or hers own opiates. But if you do get lucky, most of your freinds and family eventualy want to shoot both of you or get you married to shut you up. Ever watch a teenager fall in love, then a month later when he or she gets dumped have the equivalent of a cold turkey meth addict in the house? Love being the most powerful of human emotions is true. It's the most addictive self medication habit you cannot kick by mother natures design to purpetuate the species. Oh and yes during Romantic Love you do beleive your partner is pefict why? Reduced levels of seritonin production which causes the Obsesive Compulsive behavior and scews your sense of reality towards your partner. That Oh So Dreamy feeling........
Mutual Respect and Bonding usualy comes with age, marraige, often with children, when the two of you have bonded as freinds and partners. Your hormones have long since tapered off and each of you has either bonded via years of repititious habit or hopefully by years of nurturing mutual respect. This is the only solace in this self drug addiction to look forward to short of living alone. You finaly kick your own hormonal addiction by virtue of age. This is also around the time men have mid-life crisis and women file for divorce on the grounds "he dosent make me happy anymore".<---can't get her fix anymore....
And now to make this even more convoluted. You can be at the same time in a Mutualy Repectful relationship with one person while being in a meth addict LUST for a second person while being in obsesive compulsive Romantic Love with a third. The stuff of divorces, paternity suites and impeachment proceedings. So after a few years you ever wonder why you have to make the decision that you actualy like the person you used to Lust, then Love and now just get up every morning with?
Testosteron<---Boy hormone.
Estrogen<---Girl hormone.
Adrenalin<---when you first chase the target you become stressed and produce adrenalin. Part of why you get clumsy, stutter, swet like a horse and your mouth goes dry.
DOPAMINE<---very addictive, better than cocaine and you produce it. It's why everyone goes back for more sex. It's highly addictive because its pure. God dosen't step on it before you get it.
Seratonin<---you supress this and become fixated on your partner to a fault. Puts rose colored lenses in your eyes. Lots of baby talk and strange cooing noises to drive parents and freinds nuts.
Oxytocin<---makes you addicted to cuddeling and being touched. Only reason you don't just hop up and leave the room afterwards. Feels good. Although makes some women twice as likely to become depressed.
Vasopressin<----if it's going to last this is produced post cloitus to help with long term pair bonding. Hopefully.......Lawyers know this is not a sure thing.
And here we thought it we were so smart. Sex and Love is just another drug addiction...don't Bogart that victoria secrets cataloge.
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I have problems with #2 with the wife. She seems to thing I need to put the seat down after I use it.
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7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and tanks.
My girlfriend just can't wrap here mind around that.
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints are pointless.
You'd think that they'd eventually figure this one out, but I have yet to see any evidence of that. I hate it when they think we know what we did to make them angry, its just so damn confusing.
23. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
Any tips on ending an argument?
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The only reliable way I know
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