WASH: Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
WASH: Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh! Now die!
JAYNE: Ten percent of nothing is -- let me do the math here -- nothing into nothing, carry the --
MAL: Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.
MAL: If anyone gets nosy, just, you know... shoot 'em.
ZOE: Shoot 'em?
MAL: Politely.
BOOK: brought you some supper, but if you'd prefer a lecture, I've a few very catchy ones prepped. Sin and hellfire... one has lepers.
SIMON: I need to check her vitals.
MAL: Oh, is that what they call it?
MAL: Now you only gotta scare him.
JAYNE: Pain is scary.
JAYNE: Was gonna get me an ear, too.
INARA: I gave the boy a free thrust, since he's not long for this world.
MAL: Well, we may not have parted on the best of terms. I realize certain words were exchanged. Also, certain... bullets.
MAL: I believe that woman's planning to shoot me again.
JAYNE: Here's a little concept I been workin' on. Why don't we shoot her first?
WASH: It is her turn.
MAL: If I ever kill you, you'll be awake, you'll be facing me, and you'll be armed.
MAL: We're still flying.
SIMON: That's not much.
MAL: It's enough.
MAL: I'm thinkin' you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling, so why don't we just ignore each other 'til we go away?
NISKA: You do not like I kill this man.
MAL: Oh, no. I'm sure he was a very bad person.
NISKA: My wife's nephew. At dinner, I'm getting earful.
ZOE: Sir? I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.
MAL: Hell, this job I would pull for free.
ZOE: Can I have your share?
MAL: No.
ZOE: If you die, can I have your share?
MAL: Yes.
WASH: Oh, gawd! What could it be? We're doomed! Who's flyin' this thing? Oh. Right. That'd be me. Back to work.
HARKEN: You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?
ZOE: Fought with a lot of people in the war.
HARKEN: And your husband?
ZOE: Fight with him sometimes, too.
WASH: The legs. Oh yeah, definitely have to say it was her legs. You can put that down. Her legs, and where her legs meet her back. Actually, that whole area. That, and above it.
WASH: Have you ever been with a warrior woman?
ZOE: Planet's coming up a mite fast.
WASH: That's just cause, I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all.
MAL: Well, that happens, let me know.
BADGER: 'Course you couldn't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle, but I got my hands on a couple.
MAL: He's supposed to be old, kinda stocky, wears a red sash crossways.
KAYLEE: Why does he do that?
MAL: Maybe he won the Miss Persephone Pageant.
MAL: See how I'm not punching him? I think I've grown.
BOOK: Afraid I might be needing a preacher.
MAL: That's good. You lie there and be ironical.
JAYNE: "Dear Diary, Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy. Today we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."
MAL: So then Shepherd says to a Companion, "Well, a good goat would do that."
JAYNE: Instead of us hanging around playing art critic till I get pinched by the Man, how's about we move away from this eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our increasingly eerie-ass day?
SIMON: To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing.
MAL: Well. Looks can be deceiving.
JAYNE: Not as deceiving as a low down dirty... deceiver.
MAL: Look, you got a little stabbed the other day. That's bound to make anyone a mite ornery.
ZOE: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
BOOK: Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.
MAL: I know it's a difficult mission... but you and I... have to get it on.
ZOE: Take me, sir. Take me hard.
WASH: Little River just gets more colorful by the moment. What'll she do next?
ZOE: Either blow us all up or rub soup in our hair. It's a toss-up.
WASH: I hope she does the soup thing. It's always a hoot, and we don't all die from it.
JAYNE: Anybody remember her comin' at me with a butcher's knife?
WASH: Wacky fun.
JAYNE: You wanna go, little man?
WASH: Only if it's someplace with candlelight.
