Someone else tells a very different tale:
"Uncle B.S., where were you on November 22nd, 1963?"
"November 22nd, 1963, let me think a second. That's the date where everyone's supposed to remember where they was. I was working in a school book depository in Dallas, Texas. Haughton-Mithlan had just come out with that new math and they had them real thick math books, and it was hard to move all them math books by myself so I said 'Y'all gotta get someone in here to help me with these boxes.' And they hired a guy named Harvey-something. I can't think of his name.
Well he had been in the Marine Corp and I, of course, in the Navy for 12 years. He kept goin' on about how much better a shot the Marines were than the Naval forces. So I said 'I tell you what, you little pinko-commie bastard! Today at lunch you go back to your boarding house and bring back your rifle. I got two tickets to the Texas Theatre says you can't hit that manhole cover down there by that grassy knoll.'
Well he done cracked off
4 shots...damned if the President of the United States didn't happen to drive by at that exact moment.
We felt bad about that."