Author Topic: Good Points about GOLF  (Read 399 times)

Offline SHawk

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Good Points about GOLF
« on: January 09, 2006, 06:32:02 PM »
The following is forwarded not to offend tennis, basketball,

football or soccer fans. It is, rather, an attempt to put everything

in its proper perspective.

 

Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity and people who don't

even play go to tournaments or watch it on TV? These truisms may

shed light.

 

Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of

players being honorable people who don't need referees.

 

Golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.

 

Golfers don't scratch their privates on the golf course.

 

Golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.

 

Professional golfers are compensated in direct proportion to how

well they play.

 

Golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when

they travel between tournaments.

 

Golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts,

because of another player's deal.

 

Professional golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the

courses on which they play.

 

When golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or

back them up.

 

The PGA Tour raises more money for charity in one year than the

National Football League does in two.

 

You can watch the best golfers in the world up close, at any

tournament, including the majors, all day, every day for $25 or

$30. The cost for a seat in the nosebleed section at the Super

Bowl will cost around $300 or more.

 

You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf course, watch

the best in the world and not spend a small fortune on food and

drink. Try that at one of the taxpayer funded baseball or football

stadiums. I brought a Coke into Oriole Park at Camden Yards last

year, and an usher came to my seat and told me I had to dispose

of it, or I would not be allowed to stay in the stadium.

 

In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a

season, like the best baseball hitters (.300 batting average) do.

 

Golf doesn't change its rules to attract Fans.

 

Golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each week.

 

Golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.

 

Golf doesn't have free agency.

 

In their prime, Greg Norman, Arnold Palmer and other stars, would

shake your hand and say they were happy to meet you. In his prime

Jose Canseco wore T-shirts that read "Leave Me Alone."

 

You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a

tournament. Ladies are welcome players.

 

At a golf tournament, (unlike at taxpayer-funded sports stadiums

and arenas) you won't hear a steady stream of four letter words

and nasty name calling while you're hoping that no one spills beer

on you.

 

Tiger Woods can hit a golf ball three times as far as Barry Bonds

can hit a baseball.

 

Golf Courses don't ruin the neighborhood.

 

Finally, here's a slice of golf history I thought you might enjoy.

 

Why do full-length golf courses have 18 holes, and not 20, or 10

or an even dozen? During a discussion among the club's membership

board at St. Andrews in 1858, one of the members pointed out that it

takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting

himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a

round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out. Now you know.


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If it takes full power to taxi to the hanger, your gear is probably up.

Offline Golfer

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Good Points about GOLF
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2006, 06:47:03 PM »
Golf is for sissies and guys who wear funny pants.

Offline SMIDSY

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« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2006, 06:53:59 PM »
ironic that the sport of gentlemen was invented by Scotsmen.

Offline indy007

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Good Points about GOLF
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2006, 06:59:29 PM »
It helps to wear shorts when speed golfing.

Carts are for guys with beer bellies and/or drunken jousting.... not that I would do such a thing.

Don't forget the #1 attraction of golf. Stripper golf tournaments. Haven't been to one? Try Wildcats (the course, not the club) in Houston for St. Patrick's Day. I'd post the pics, but I'd just get banned.

Offline LePaul

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« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2006, 07:14:16 PM »
Ha....some of those are pretty good.

Offline Holden McGroin

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Good Points about GOLF
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2006, 07:25:56 PM »
of course, some of those points suck.
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Offline lasersailor184

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« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2006, 07:32:13 PM »
Isn't everyone forgetting that Golf is another four letter word and the second leading cause of strokes?

SWING - WHIFF - "****!"
Punishr - N.D.M. Back in the air.
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Offline Toad

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« Reply #7 on: January 09, 2006, 09:26:56 PM »
Quote
When the term "a fifth" was popularized, it was in referrence to a fifth of a gallon (128 fl oz and a fifth being 25.6 fl oz).

So there are approximately 25 shots (from a 1 oz shotglass). The remainder is the liquid that one drinks from the bottle to finish it off.


Shouldn't a round of golf be 25 holes then? Even if they were drinking doubles it'd be ~ 13 holes to the round.
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!

Offline doobs

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Good Points about GOLF
« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2006, 09:36:01 PM »
Ya gotta luv Golf.

Where else can ya get out of the house for 5-6 hours with the guys,

drive a motorized beer cooler/bumpercar/dragster, and smack the hell out of things with Clubs, and gamble.
R.I.P JG44
(founding XO)

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Offline RedTop

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« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2006, 09:53:42 PM »
Used to play 5 - 6 times a week.

Now 5 - 6 times a month.

Love to play though. :)
Original Member and Former C.O. 71 sqd. RAF Eagles

Offline boxboy28

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« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2006, 09:55:41 AM »
Toad , Most shots are not 1 oz (even though that is the ideal for some) its more in the range of 1.4, 1.5 - 1.7 ish.    What are the mini bottles 1.7oz? thats the normal idea of a shot, not a stupid lil gily standard of 1 oz. :aok
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Offline Toad

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« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2006, 10:16:35 AM »
Sure, I agree with ya. But 25.6/18= 1.42oz.

Accounting for spillage, was a Scotsman's "shot" about 1.3 or 1.4 oz? For that tale to be true, there has to be some "standard" shot for a Scot.
If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude than the animated contest of freedom, go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you were our countrymen!

Offline Airscrew

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« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2006, 11:59:57 AM »
I like golf, even though I suck at it.  ( I need to find a course that has a lot of par 8s and 9s)

Offline Sandman

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Good Points about GOLF
« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2006, 12:04:54 PM »
Golf is like sex.

You don't have to be any good at it to actually enjoy it.

:D
sand

Offline Mickey1992

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Re: Good Points about GOLF
« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2006, 12:22:18 PM »
Quote

Professional golfers are compensated in direct proportion to how well they play.

In golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a

season, like the best baseball hitters (.300 batting average) do.



Not really.  Most PGA players consider their endorsement deals as their "salary".  This is their fixed income.  Tournament winnings is considered a bonus to their salary.
Quote

You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf course, watch the best in the world and not spend a small fortune on food and drink.


I am not aware of any PGA event that lets you bring food or drink onto the property.  Most LPGA events no longer allow it as well.

I do agree that nearly all PGA golfers are class acts.  Even guys that appear to be jerks on the course (Norman, Stadler) are very personable off the course.  With exception of Singh and Woosnam.  Singh is a robot, Woosnam is an bellybutton 24/7.